The President's Test For Physical Fitness

Once upon a time me and vudi met

A major american rock star in a shop

We were immediately jealous of his hair

And his fuel-injected sports cock



He made the usual stupid sexual jokes

About the way he comes on top

But i could tell it was a lie

By the way that he walked



How did you pass the presiden'ts test

Even if i can't match your ability to compete

At least give me a chance to cheat



He said, "are you losers making fun

Of our serious vocation?

You just gotta bring the music to the people man

And then go score a hole in one."



The pleasures of a treadmill and the factory

Took all the innocence from his eyes

Leaving him to spurt unashamed

By the size of his dull suprise



How did you pass the presiden'ts test

I never felt honest telling those virutous lies

And my toupee always gets into my eyes



How do you pass the president's test

I don't even want to know my score

I don't know who's telling me the truth anymore



I said, "the only thing that we're good for

Is being forgotten."

And i know you're big enough of a star

To make sure that the job gets done



How do you pass the president's test

I swear one day they'll build a monument

To the man with the most reasons for his embarassment



How do you pass the president's test

No i don't even want to know my score

I don't know who's telling me the truth anymore




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