Middle Man

I was sitting in a diner

With a girl named flo

She wouldn't say yes

But she couldn't say no

She said "darling, can i get a middle man?"

She was engaged to a fellow

On the lay a way plan

But she carried all her money

In a coffee can

She said "darling, can i get a middle man?"

The cook looked over

With a short order face

Dropped a fork

And he saw flo's legs

Straightened his apron

And burnt my eggs

I got competition

Everywhere i go

These days



She was leaning on the juke box

And was lookin' real good

Like natalie wood

On a pontiac hood

I said "darling, i think i need a little hand"

Ya see, i've seen my downs

I've seen my ups

I seen miniature dogs

In coffee cups

But "darling i ain't never seen a middle man"



Flo talked slow

Like real wet paint

She said

"a middle man's there

When the other ones ain't

He's got a left handed manner

That leans to the right

Sleeps all day

And keeps it up all night ..."

... i got an aunt in ohio

And a boat that won't row

Some veterans insurance

And nowhere to go

"darling, can i be your middle man?"



(spoken)

If i could get the money in that coffee can

I could open me up a lemonade stand

Send all the kids off to pakistan

Make flo happy

If i can



Jerry mahoney and johnny b. goode

Are gonna buy me a house in hollywood

"darling i think i got the perfect plan"

"we're gonna save half a dollars

And sell 'em to france

Buy us a record

And learn how to dance

And darling i'll always be your middle

Darling go buy a griddle

Darling i wanna be your middle man


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