If

If i was your tv i'd be like "look at me"

If i was a shooting star i'd be like "peace!"

If i was a fat bitches thong i'd be like "hell naw!'

If i was a hotties thong i'd be like "awwww..."

If i was a cuss word i'd just be like "fuck"

If i was a rock on the moon i'd be chillin' like "sup?"

If i was a butthole i'd just be an exit

If i was the d.o.c. i'd be like "man this is bullshit"

If i was the tires on your car i'd be like "neeeaaawww"

If i was the bumper on your car i'd be like "aww fuck"

If i was a balloon i'd be like "pap"

If i was allysa milano i'd be fucking joe bruce

If i was a radio dj i'd probably say "the point 103"

If i was a richy ass bitch i'd be like "umm...ok"

If i was spin magazine i'd put me on the cover and be like "fuck us! and

I won't read this, even us motherfucker!"

If i was your mental stress i'd be catching up

If i was your headaches every now and then i'd be like "thonnnkk!!"

If i was your tongue i'd be hating your teeth i'd be like "man why do

You try to bite me every time we try to eat?"

If i was a chair i'd be like "sit here"

If i was kid rock i'd cut my feathered wolf hair

If i was your muffler i'd be like "shhh, quietly"

If i was a price tag i'd be like "you ain't buying me"

If i was a fresh ass dj i'd be like [records scratch]

If i was jam master j i'd be like [records scratch]

If i was a cheap clock radio i'd be like [static]

"tune that motherfucker in"

If i was barry white i'd be like "what up y'all?"

If i was nipple in the cold i'd be like "boing"

If i was your dead uncle i'd be like "....."

If i was a raindrop i'd just be like "drip"

And if i had an ax to your neck i might say "chop!"



[chorus]

If i was, if i was, but i'll never be

If i was, if i was, but i'll never be

If i was, if i was, but i'll never be

If i was, if i was, but i'll never be

If i was, if i was, but you're killing me

If i was, if i was. but you're killing me



If i was a faygo at one of our shows, i'd fly through the air into and

Ocean of juggalos

If i was andre the giant "this is how i'd be talking"

If i was father mc i'd be like "now what happened?"

If i was a mirror, i'd find another mirror

And look each other dead in the eye, crystal clear

If i was a slider i'd slide out your butt

I'd be floatin' in your toilet lookin' at you like "what?"

If i was a pilot i'd be like "this is air traffic control"

If i was john denver i'd be like "nooooooo!!!!"

If i was a switch i'd be like "flick me, yoo-hoo"

If i was a london cop car i'd be like "wee-oop wee-oop"

If i was chewbacca i'd get a fresh ass fade

If i was vanilla ice i'd be like "fuck y'all. i'm still paid"

If i was a stop sign i'd just be like "stop"

If i was your wooden leg i'd still be giving you the hip-hop

[chorus}


more free lyrics