Super Slab Showdown

Me an' earl was workin' the superslab outside a' that ogallala?

When outta town come a local clown in a '65 impala

Had a 'coon tail flyin' off a' his whip antenna



We was haulin' a load a' them go-go girls

Truckin' 'em over to o-town

Old boy got on his microphone

Says "how's about a little showdown?"



Well, hot damn, i'm a gamblin' man,

So ev'rybody get yer bets down

'cause this old truck gonna make us a buck

Chicken in the bread pan, pickin' out vittles

Swing them heifers and away we go



Wake up, earl, we gots to race that pile a' junk over ta north platte city



Well, one-eyed bears and deuces wild

We got the back door pad-locked

He says, "bet five bucks and a side a' beef,

"i can beat them cows ta flat rock."



You hear that, earl? he says he's gonna whip ol' bessie here!



I says, "call your five and raise ya ten

"jes' kiss that chevy goodby, boy

"'cause when bessie hits that floatin' gear

"you gonna be eatin' hereford pie. yeah."



Well, hot damn, i'm a gamblin' man,

So ev'rybody get yer bets down

'cause this old truck gonna make us a buck

She gonna round them curves at thirty gees

A trunk full a' cows an' a hood full a' bees



Move it up a notch, earl.

Yeah, that's it. that's floatin' gear! c'mon bessie!



Well, tuck it on in and head it for the barn

If we don't win, we gonna sell the farm



If this old wreck don't break my neck,

We gonna take them cows to a discatheque



I says, "come on, earl, let's give it a whirl.

"that chevy is a-pickin' up speed."

Well, we crossed the platte at a hundred flat

Old bessie was a-blowin' the weeds



We definitely was in that monfort lane.



Yeah, we won the race with a bovine ace

When the chevy made a fatal pass

Yeah, he got too close

Got a terminal dose a' that good ol' hereford gas.

Phew!



Hot damn, i'm a gamblin' man,

So ev'rybody get yer bets down

'cause this old truck's gonna make us a buck

She's rollin' the boulevard shakedown



Hot damn, i'm a truckin' man

And i sorta like ta put my foot down

This old rig gonna blow your wig

Got go-go girls and a peterbilt cab

Gonna see ya all out on the superslab for a showdown


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