Ixnay On The Hombre

Ladies and gentlemen
Welcome to the disclaimer
That's right, the disclaimer


This american apple pie institution
Known as parental discretion
Will cleanse any sense of innuendo or sarcasm
From the lyrics that might actually make you think
And will also insult your intelligence at the same time


So protect your family.
This album contains explicit depictions
Of things which are real.
These real things are commonly known as life.
So, if it sounds sarcastic, don't take it seriously.
If it sounds dangerous,
Do not try this at home or at all.
And if it offends you, just don't listen to it.

Look at me i'm fallin'
Off of a cliff now
I can still hear my mama yelling no no no
But the words mean nothing
Can't catch up to me now
And the view is so beautiful
All the way down
When i was a little boy
Suckin' juice from a bottle
Believing my perceptions were oh so real
But i don't know nothing
Still knowing nothing
Was just enough for me to know the way i feel
This is life
What a fucked up thing we do
What a nightmare come true
Or a playground if we choose
And i choose


Look at me i'm swollen
Like a banana fish now
I'm never gonna make it out of my hole
But i keep on laughing
Doesn't really matter
There's dozens of reasons for explaining my soul
When i was a teenager
Suckin' booze with the vatos
Discussing who was gonna live to be 21
They said they wouldn't make it
They didn't make it
We're all naked when the day is said and done
This is life
What a fucked up thing we do
What a nightmare come true
Or a playground if we choose
And i choose


Don't know who made this all come true
But now while you're here
You just gotta do what you gotta do
Now if i wasn't such a weenie
Do you think you'd still love me
Pretending i'm an airplane on the living
Room floor
But like a lovely generator
You stand right by me
And if words were wisdom i'd be talking
Even more
So i keep on falling
As i'm looking back above me
Watching as my mama just becomes a little dot
Now i'm like deniro
I'm amarillo
And i'll never know when i hit the ground

I saw a little kid
As he walked around
He picked a candy bar up
Off the ground
He chowed about a half
Then his face turned blue
Turned out that candy bar was doggy-doo
Don't pick it up i say
Unless you can throw it away
Don't pick it up i say
You're gonna be bummed that you went that way


You're out there makin' bacon
No scrutiny
You mess around too much
And you got vd
You know you never think
And you're sore today
You're gonna take it back to california
Don't pick it up i say
Unless you can throw it away
Don't pick it up i say
You're gonna be bummed that you went that way


My friend was kinda hurtin'
For a girl to try
He saw one that looked like pat
On saturday night live
It had a pair of thingies
But a mustache too
Not clearly male nor female
So now what to do
Don't pick it up i say
Unless you can throw it away
Don't pick it up i say
You're gonna be bummed that you went that way

On the way
Trying to get where i'd like to say
I'm always feeling steered away
By someone trying to tell me
What to say and do
I don't want it
I gotta go find my own way
I gotta go make my own mistakes
Sorry man for feeling
Feeling the way i do


On yeah, oh yeah
Open wide and they'll shove in
Their meaning of life
Oh yeah, oh yeah
But not for me i'll do it on my own
Oh yeah, oh yeah
Open wide and swallow their meaning of life
I can't make it work your way
Thanks but no thanks


By the way
I know your path has been tried and so
It may seem like the way to go
Me, i'd rather be found
Trying something new
And the bottom line
In all of this seems to say
There's no right and wrong way
Sorry if i don't feel like
Living the way you do

I hate a lot of things
I hate a lot of people that are lame
I like to hate stuff
Cause then i don't havae to try and make
A change
I hate teachers
I hate school
I hate the cheerleaders
And anyone who's cool
I hate the office
I hate the quad
Don't wanna learn nothing
I want to be a slob


It's cool to hate
It's cool to hate
I don't like nothing and i like that fine
(liking something's just a waste of time)
It's cool to hate
It's cool to hate
I don't like nothing and i like that fine
(liking something's just a waste of time)
I don't like nothing and like that fine
(liking something's just a waste of time)
Yeah i hate everything
I even hate you too
So fuck you


I'm always thinking bad
I never have nothing good to say
I'd rather tear things down
Than build them up
It's easier that way
I hate the jocks
And i hate the geeks
I hate the trendies
But i also hate the freaks
I hate dr. martens
And muscle t's
I'm only happy when i'm in my misery
I'll cut you down and give you lip
Being positive's so unhip
I'll cut you down cause i'm a fool
Being positive's so uncool


I hate the jocks
Annd i hate the geeks
I hate the trendies
But i also hate the freaks
I hate your band
And i hate tv
I'm only happy when i'm in my misery

Mota!
Everyday, well it's the same
That bong that's on the table starts to call
My name
I take a hit and zone out again
I'll be paranoid and hungry by a quarter to ten
Watching reruns on my tv
I'm laughing off my ass at three's company
I don't know if i'm understood
Buy hearing jimmy buffett never sounded so good
Your memory's gone and so is your life (your life)


Mota boy
But losing out just never felt so right
Your enemy's you and so is your life (your life)
Mota boy
But losing out might feel okay all night
Mota!


I'm driving down to the barrio
Going 15 miles an hour cause i'm already stoned
Give the guy a twenty and wait in the car
He tosses me a baggie then he runs real far
I take a hit but it smells like a clove
Oh fuck i got a baggie of oregano
This ritual is destroying me
But i guess it could be worse
It could be methedrine


Your memory's gone and so is your life (your life)
Mota boy
But losing out just never felt so right
Your enemy's you and your couch is your life
(your life)


Mota boy
But losing out might take
Losing out might take you all night
Mota!
Losing out might feel okay all night
Yeah losing out might feel okay all life

I see the way the salesmen stare into the sun
I stood and watched them as they fell off one by one
And everyone's so blind
They're not to help mankind
Reach into your bag of tricks and pull another one
You don't want to change the world
Like you say
You're in it for yourself
No one else
You're ready
Saving yourself
You're gonna change the world
You're ready
Saving yourself
You're gonna change the world
Now when the day is set they'll line up all the same