1. _ X-Mas on the Isthmus
It's X-Mas on the Isthmus of Panama
We're listless this Christmas
No Santa Claus
No wise men, no angels
No mistletoe trucks
No reindeer
No shepherds
We're shit out of luck
Ah, we hung all our stockings
On the palm trees with care
Stayed up all night
Still nothin' there
So we snorted some incense
And shot up some myrrh
Stayed up two more days
Just to make sure
Ah it's X-Mas on the Isthmus of Panama
It's hopeless, we're dopeless
No Santa Claus
No wise men, no angels
No mistletoe trucks
No reindeer, no shepherds
We're shit out of luck
Bethlehem, bethle-her, bethle-you
Bethle-me, mucho
Ah, there's something about X-Mas
That brings me to tears
Snowmen an chestnuts
An roastin' reindeers
That story from the Bible
God's only son
The immaculate injection
Ah, you know the one
Well, they wadn't from around here
They was Judean strangers
So they called up the front desk
"Let me speak to the manger"
There was horses, there was cows
There was sheep, there was pigs
Mary asked Joseph
"Hey who booked this gig?"
Ah, it's X-Mas on the Isthmus of Panama
We're shiftless, we're giftless
No Santa Claus
No wise men, no angels
No mistletoe trucks
No reindeer, no shepherds
We're shit out of luck
Bethlehem, bethle-her, bethle-you
Bethle-me, mucho
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2. _ Beautiful Waitress
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3. _ Give Me the Flowers
In this world today where we're living
Some folks say the worst of us they can
But when we are dead and in our caskets
They always slip some lilies in our hands
Will you give me my flowers
While I'm livin' and let me enjoy them while I can?
Don't wait 'til I'm ready to be buried
And then slip some lilies in my hand
In this world is where we need our flowers
And a kind word to help us get along
So if you can't give me flowers while I'm livin'
Then please, don't throw them when I'm gone
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4. _ Gimme a Ride to Heaven Boy
Well I was caught up with myself
On the highway at night
Drivin' like a bat outta hell
When I beheld an amazing sight
It was a lonely apparition
By the roadside standing there
With his thumb out in the wilderness
And a halo in his hair
[Chorus]
He said "Gimme a ride to heaven boy
I'll Show you paradise
Yeah gimme a ride to heaven boy
My name is Jesus Christ"
So I come screeching to a halt
I said "Hop on in"
He says "thanks a lot for the lift
I forgive you of your sins
Yeah I just come from Jerusalem
Where things are going bad
Ah gimme a ride to heaven boy
I need to talk to my dad"
[Chorus]
Well I didn't know what to do
So I jammed her down in gear
Kind a kicked my feet beneath the seat
I was trying to hide the beer
Ah but he just grinned and said "My friend,
I know you must think it's odd
But you got nothin' to fear about drinkin' a beer
If you share it with the son of God"
[Chorus]
Well I saw good news in his baby blues
So I stomped it on the floor
I said you have to show me how to get there
I ain't been before
"Well it's a hard place to find" he said
"But I'll give you a little clue
It ain't somewhere up in the air
It's sittin' right here inside with you"
Then right in the middle of that perfect smile
From his robes he pulled a gun
An stuck it up beside my head and said
"How's this for Kingdom Come?"
Well I pulled off scared but I heard him say
As he left me beneath the stars
"The Lord moves in mysterious ways
And tonight, my son H'e's gonna use your car"
[Chorus]
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5. _ What of Alicia
Well he just turned 17
When he left old Abilene
With his bags…and permission
From the kin
Yeah but things just weren't the same
After his Momma signed her name
And let the navy…take him inahhh but
What of Alicia
Espanola
13 years old
Child of Mexico
An he just turned 19 years
When he learned to face his fears
Of growing up…and acting
Like a man
He just cocked his sailor cap
Stuck his hands down in his lap
Leaned back and stroked…them girls in Japan
ahhh but
What of Alicia
Espanola
15 years old
Child of Mexico
An he just turned 23
When he finally took his final leave
Anchored in the port of
San Diego
Yeah he met this border girl
An he fancied her body's curl
So he married her…then carried her to Colorado
ahhh but
What of Alicia
Espanola
19 years old
an old woman
But out of Mexico
yi yi yi yi yi yi yi yi yi yi yi yi yi yi yi yi yi yi yi yi yi
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6. _ Flatland Boogie
Hey Up on the Caprock
Me and my baby ride
Goin a hundred miles an hour
Cause this old Ford can still fly
Got Four Roses in a sack
An we ain't lookin' back tonight
Some top 40 Shorty's
Singin on the radio
An there's cotton fields forever
On both sides of the road
It's till the Flatland Boogie
But where did the Wolfman go
Old photographs turn yellow
Times they come and go
But we can still do the boogie
From the High Plains to Mexico
Some old Angel from Amarillo
Must be helpin us to hold it on the road
Moonlight's a fallin
Look at that caliche glow
An old coyote's a howlin
Doesn't know he's too old
Headlights a shinin
On all we ever need to know
Cross the Llano Estacado
Baby's till by my side
Ain't no reason to stop
An there ain't no place to hide
You want to Flatland Boogie
Better flat out come and ride
Repeat chorus
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7. _ Amarillo Highway
Well
I'm a high straight in Plainview
Side bet in Idalou
An a fresh deck in New Deal
Yeah
Some call me high hand
An some call me low hand
But I'm holdin what I am…The Wheel
'Cause
I'm panhandlin
Man handlin
Post holin
High rollin
Dust Bowlin…Daddy
An I ain't got no blood veins
I just got them four lanes
Of hard…Amarillo Highway
Yeah
I don't wear no Stetson
But I'm willin to bet son
That I'm a big a Texan as you are
'Cause
There's a girl in her barefeet
'Sleep on the back seat
An that trunk is full of Pearl…and Lone Star
(chorus)
So
Gonna hop outta bed
Pop a pill in my head
Yeah, bust the Hub for the Golden Spread
Under blue skies
Gonna stuff my hide
Behind some power glide
An get some southern fried…back in my eyes
(chorus)
An close I'll ever get to heaven
Is makin' speed up ol' 87
Of that hard-ass…Amarillo Highway
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8. _ Oh Hally Lou
Washed in the blood
Washed In the blood
Washed in the blood
Blood of the lamb
Does Jesus love you?
Does Jesus love you?
Does Jesus love you?
Oh hally lou
Oh hally lou
Oh hally lou
Does Jesus love you?
Washed in the blood
Washed In the blood
Washed in the blood
Does Jesus love you?
Does Jesus love you?
Does Jesus love you?
Does Jesus love you?
Oh hally lou
Oh hally lou
Oh hally lou
Oh hally lou
Does Jesus love you?
Repeat
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9. _ New Delhi Freight Train
Some people think that I must be crazy
But my real name is just Jesse James
An I left them half-crocked, hard-knocks of black rock county
Just to ride on that New Delhi Train
Ridin on that New Delhi Freight Train
Ridin down that New Delhi Line
Ridin on that New Delhi Freight Train
Well I left my love behind
Yeah I left my love behind
Yeah I'm just a country boy without angels
ahhh just a country boy without gold
An I been to silver cities load of rainbows
Where I pillaged and I killed and I stole
Ridin on that New Delhi Freight Train
Ridin down that New Delhi Line
Ridin on that New Delhi Freight Train
Well I left my life behind
Yeah I left my life behind
Then I killed a man named smilin Jordan (Jeer-dun)
Yeah I killed him with one of my guns
And I knew that I had did what I had not ought to
But I welcomed the run from what I'd done
Ridin on that New Delhi Freight Train
Ridin down that New Delhi Line
Ridin on that New Delhi Freight Train
Well I left my guns behind
Yeah I left my guns behind
(repeat)
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10. _ Red Bird
Ho down down
Ho down dee
Red bird dancin
In custody
Goin down
New Orleans
Red bird dancin
An a red bird sing
Red bird sing
Red bird do
New Orleans
An a red bird blue
I been born
An I'm gonna die
Blood red wing
You gonna make me fly
Goin in
A red bird den
Ain't gonna
Come out again
Ho down down
Ho down dee
Red bird dancin
In custody
Ho down down
Ho down dee
Red bird dance
A penitentiary
A jailer stoned
An he barred the door
Red bird gone... yeah
To fly no more
Black crow see
Black crow knew
New Orleans is where
The red bird flew
I been born
An I'm gonna die
Blood red wing
You gonna make me cry
Rusty wing
A daed dark thing
Crows too loud now
When the red bird sing
Ho down down
Ho down dee
Red bird dance
A penitentiary
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11. _ Wilderness of This World
There's an old shoe
Out on the highway
Tells us of the Wilderness of this World
And an old dirt floor
Moves under me and you
Tells us of the Wilderness of this World
And the moon falls
Down on a highway
An that highway crawls
Cross the desert below
Like a sad song
You can't stop dancin to
Tells us of the Wilderness of this World
And the desert falls
Down on the ocean
And that motion is all
We'll ever knowIt just keeps on spinning
This bunch of dancin fools
Run crazy across the Wilderness of this World
Yeah
Run crazy across the Wilderness of this World
There's an old shoe
Out on the highway
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12. _ Cortez Sail
See how the rain
Falls from the sky
Drifting down
From your high mountain's eye
But don't look surprised
You're going home
Yeah you're leaving L.A.
On a cloudy day
Pushing the crowd away
You gonna get away today
An you turn on your radio
An let the wind blow
With your rock n roll
Down the highway
All the way
Ah but see how, the lightning
Makes cracks in your air
Tearing the clouds
Then closing the tear
Yeah but you're not surprised
Anymore
You're going home
To Mexico
Four hundred years ago
Down in Mexico
The Spanish galleons drew near
And the Aztec warriors watched
From their mountain sides
Yeah the fear in their eyes
As clear as their end it was near
Yeah Cortez he come
With his men and his guns
And a Spanish Christ
Alive on his lip
But as soon as he touched ground
Well his men wanted to turn around
So he burned down the turn around ships
Yeah he crossed all that water
With his cannon and fodder
If need be to slaughter
For Gods and for gold
An he wouldn't let no man
Talk him in to being anything other than
Conquistador bold
Yeah Pachuco to Paradise
Yeah a Colorado rain
Falls on your California glass
Washing away the hardline
From your California past
Ah but you're not surprised anymore
You're going home
Cause just out of Cortez
Well the radio man says
That they's a lookin for you
They gonna get you
But your guns on your map
And they're both in your lap
Besides your Chic's with you
So you gonna get through
Ah but see how the lightning
Makes cracks in your air
Tearing the clouds
Then closin the tear
Yeah but you're not surprised anymore
You're going home
To Paradise
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13. _ Helena Montana
Hey he stumbled from
Some derelicts bar
Throw'd out his hands
An leaned on a car
An pretty soon this girl
Come up to him
Said "hey how bout some fun
now, Slim"
Yeah he stuck his hand
In his pocket
An he pulled out a bill
he said "I don't need no fun, little girl
but I sure could use some pills"
cause ... I been broke
An I been throw'd
I been bought
An I been sold
An Helena Montana
Beats hell-in-a-city ... gone cold
An Calgary's like Calvary to me
An Ft. Worth... it ain't worth a damn
An Cheyenne... hell, she ain't shy at all
But I'm damned sure gonna take my ride
Before I fall
yi yi yi whoppi ti e yi
yi yi yi whoppi ti e yi e oh
There's a Montana midnight
Under a moonlight ... tonight
An a Montana girl in the bed ... a'waitin
For this tore down old body
That ain't at all ... all right
But she knows he'll be back
Sooner or later
Cause I been broke
An I been throw'd
I been learned
Damned ... I should've knowed
That Helena Montana
Beats hell-in-a-city ... gone cold
yi yi yi whoppi ti e yi
yi yi yi whoppi ti e yi e oh
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14. _ Doll
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15. _ Peggy Legg
There's a one-legged woman
On the dance floor
An that one leg's so pretty
She don't need no more
She's got a graceful demeanor
Ahhh pure ballerina
Who gives a damn
If she's one leg short…cause
If you knew Peggy Legg
You'd be down at her knee
An beg an beg
For her to just give you
Some time a'day
But she's just blow you a kiss, boy
And twirls a twirl
An this is all she'd say
"We all got missing parts
Right from the start
We got to live with
Bout all a body can do
Is just stumble on through
What God gives to it
All you need is a heart
An just enough of a brain
To get your half-ass in
Out of the rain"
Now that one-legged woman's
On the band stand
She sings a full-bodied song
About a one-legged man
She kinda jiggles her thigh
When she sings of this guy
And the perfect balance of life
Bout how all he's got left
Is just what she's got right…an
If you knew Peggy Legg
You'd be down at her knee
An beg an beg
For her to just give you
Some time a'day
But she's just blow you a kiss, boy
And twirls a twirl
An this is all she'd say
"We all got missing parts
Right from the start
We got to live with
Bout all a body can do
Is just stumble on through
What God gives to it
All you need is a heart
An just enough of a brain
To get your half-ass in
Out of the rain"
If you knew Peggy Legg
You'd be down at her knee
An beg an beg
For her to just give you
Some time a'day
But she's just blow you a kiss, boy
And twirls a twirl
And blows you away
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16. _ Truckload of Art
Once upon a time
Sometime ago back on the east coast
In New York City, to be exact
A bunch of artists and painters and
Sculptors and musicians and
Poets and writers and dancers
And architects
Started feeling real superior
To their ego counter parts
Out on the West Coast,
They all got together and decided
They would show those snotty surfer upstarts
A thing or two about the Big Apple
And they hired themselves a truck
It was a big spanking new white-shiny
Chrome-plated cab-over
Peterbilt
With mud flaps, stereo, TV, AM & FM radio,
Leather seats and a naugahide sleeper
All fresh
With new American Flag decals and "ART ARK"
Printed on the side of the door
With solid 24 karat gold leaf type
And they filled up this truck
With the most significant piles
And influential heaps of Art Work
To ever be assembled in Modern Times,
And it sent it West no chide
Cajole, humble and humiliated the Golden Bear.
And this is the true story of that truck
A Truckload of Art
From New York City
Came rollin down the road
Yeah the driver was singing
And the sunset was pretty
But the truck turned over
And she rolled off the road
Yeah a Truckload of Art
Is burning near the highway
Precious objects are scattered
All over the ground
And it's a terrible sight
If a person were to see it
But there weren't nobody around
Yeah the driver went sailing
High in the sky
Landing in the gold lap of the Lord
Who smiled and then said
"Son, you're better off dead
Than haulin a truckload
Full of hot avant-garde
[Chorus]
Yes...an important artwork
Was thrown burning to the ground
Tragically...landing in the weeds
And the smoke could be seen
Ahhh for miles all around
Yeah but nobody... knows what it means
Yes... a Truckload of Art
Is burning near the highway
And it's a tough job for the highway patrol
Ahhh they'll soon see the smoke
An come runnin to poke
Then dig a deep ditch
And throw the arts in a hole
Yeah a Truckload of Art
Is burning near the highway
And it's raging far-out of control
And what the critics have cheered
Is now shattered and queered
And their noble reviews
Have been stewed on the road
[Chorus]
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