Fruitcakes

Fruitcakes
By: jimmy buffett, amy lee
1994
--spoken:
"you know i was talking to my friend desdemona the other day she
Runs this space station and bake shop down near boomtown. she told
Me that human beings are flawed individuals. the cosmic bakers
Took us out of the oven a little too early. and that's the
Reason we're as crazy as we are and i believe it."

"take for example when you go to the movies these days, you know.
They try to sell you this jumbo drink, 8 extra ounces of watered
Down cherry coke for an extra 25 cents. i don't want it.
I don't want that much organziation in my life.
I don't want other people thinking for me.
I want my junior mints. where did the junior mints go in the
Movies. i don't want a 12 lb. nestle's crunch for 25 dollars. i
Want junior mints."

"we need more fruitcakes in this world and less bakers!
We need people that care! i'm mad as hell! and i don't want to
Take it anymore!"

Chorus:
Fruitcakes in the kitchen (fruitcakes in the kitchen)
Fruitcakes on the street (fruitcakes on the street)
Struttin' naked through the crosswalk
In the middle of the week
Half-baked cookies in the oven (cookies in the oven)
Half-baked people on the bus (people on the bus)
There's a little bit of fruitcake left in everyone of us

Paradise, lost and found
Paradise, take a look around
I was out in california where i hear they have it all
They got riots, fires, mud slides
They've got sushi in the mall
Water bars, brontasaurs, chinese modern lust
Shake and bake life with the quake
The secret's in the crust

Chorus:
Fruitcakes in the kitchen (fruitcakes in the kitchen)
Fruitcakes on the street (fruitcakes on the street)
Struttin' naked through the crosswalk
In the middle of the week
Half-baked cookies in the oven (cookies in the oven)
Half-baked people on the bus (people on the bus)
There's a little bit of fruitcake left in everyone of us

--spoken:
"speakin' of fruitcakes, how 'bout the government?
Your tax dollars at work."

We lost our martian rocket ship
The high paid spokesman said
Looks like that silly rocket ship
Has lost its cone shaped head
We spent 90 jillion dollars trying to get a look at mars
I hear universal laughter ringing out among the stars

Chorus:
Fruitcakes in the galaxy (fruitcakes in the galaxy)
Fuitcakes on the earth (fruitcakes on the earth)
Struttin' naked towards eternity
We've been that way since birth
Half-baked cookies in the oven (cookies in the oven)
Half-baked people on the bus (people on the bus)
There's a little bit of fruitcake left in everyone of us

--spoken:
"religion! religion! oh, there's a thin line between saturday
Night and sunday morning. here we go now.
Alright, alter boys."

Mea culpa mea culpa mea maxima culpa
Mea culpa mea culpa mea maxima culpa

Where's the church, who took the steeple
Religion is in the hands of some crazy-ass people
Television preachers with bad hair and dimples
The god's honest truth is it's not that simple
It's the buddhist in you, it's the pagan in me
It's the muslim in him, she's catholic ain't she?
It's the born again look its the wasp and the jew
Tell me what's goin on, i ain't gotta clue

--spoken:
"now here comes the big ones. relationships! we all got 'em, we
All want 'em. what do we do with 'em?
Here we go, i'll tell ya."

She said you gotta do your fair share
Now cough up half the rent
I treat my body like a temple
You treat yours like a tent
But the right word at the right time
May get me a little hug
That's the difference between lightning
And a harmless lightnin' bug

Chorus:
Fruitcakes in the kitchen (fruitcakes in the kitchen)
Fruitcakes on the street (fruitcakes on the street)
Struttin' naked through the crosswalk
In the middle of the week
Half-baked cookies in the oven (cookies in the oven)
Half-baked people on the bus (people on the bus)
There's a little bit of fruitcake left in everyone of us

--spoken:
"the future. captain's log, stardate two thousand and something."

We're seven years from the millenium
That's a science fiction fact
Stanley kubrick and his buddy hal
Now don't look that abstract
So i'll put on my bob marley tape
And practice what i preach
Get jah lost in the reggae mon
As i walk along the beach
Stay in touch with my insanity really is the only way
Its a jungle out there kiddies
Have a very fruitful day
Hey.

Chorus:
Fruitcakes in the kitchen (fruitcakes in the kitchen)
Fruitcakes on the street (fruitcakes on the street)
Struttin' naked through the crosswalk
In the middle of the week
Half-baked cookies in the oven (cookies in the oven)
Half-baked people on the bus (people on the bus)
There's a little bit of fruitcake left in everyone of us

--spoken:
"that's right, you too. yeah those crumbs are spread all around
This universe. i've seen fruitcakes. i saw this guy in santa
Monica rollerskate naked through the crosswalk. down in new
Orleans in the french market there are fruitcakes like you cannot
Believe. new york, forget it. fruitcake city. down island, we've got
Fruitcakes. spread them crumbs around. that's right, we want
'em around. keep bakin' baby. keep bakin'."

Uncle john's band
By: jerry garcia, robert hunter
1970
Well the first days are the hardest days
Don't you worry anymore
'cause when life looks like easy street
There is danger at the door
Think this through with me
Let me know you're mine
Ooh, oh, all i want to know is
Are you kind

It's a buck dancer's choice my friend
You better take my advice
You know all the rules by now
And the fire from the ice
Will you come with me
Won't you come with me
Ooh, oh all i want to know
Will you come with me

Goddamn i declare
Have you seen the like
Their walls are built of cannon balls
There motto is don't tread on me

Come here uncle john's band
Playing to the tide
Come on along or go alone
He's come to take his children home

It's the same story the crow told me
It's the only one he knows
Like the morning sun you come
And like the wind you go
Ain't no time to hate
Barely time to wait
Ooh, oh all i want to know
Where does the time go

I live in a silver mine
And i call it beggar's tomb
I've got me a violin
And i beg you call the tune
Anybody's choice
I can hear your voice
Ooh, oh all i want to know
How does the song go

Come here uncle john's band
By the river side
Got some things to talk about
Here beside the rising tide

Come here uncle john's band
Play into the tide
Come on along or go alone
He's come to take his children home

Love in the library
By: jimmy buffett, mac mcanally
1994
On the corner of government and bay avenue
The old doomsday fanatic wore a crown of kudzu
Sirens were wailing in the gulf coastal heat
And it seemed like the whole world was in forced retreat

Paid no attention, revolved through the door
Past the newspaper racks on the worn marble floor
Near civil war history my heart skipped a beat
She was standing in fiction stretched high on bare feet

Chorus:
Love in the library
Quiet and cool
Love in the library
There are no rules
Surrounded by stories
Surreal and sublime
I fell in love in the library
Once upon a time

I was the pirate, she was the queen
Sir francis and elizabeth, the best there's ever been
Then she strolled past my table and stopped at the stairs
Then sent me a smile as she reached for flaubert

Chorus:
Love in the library
Quiet and cool
Love in the library
There are no rules
Surrounded by stories
Surreal and sublime
I fell in love in the library
Once upon a time

She gathered her books, walked while she read
Words never spoken, but so much was said
You can read all you want into this rendezvous
But it's safer than most things that lovers can do

Well stories have endings, fantasies fade
And the guard by the door starts drawing the shade
So write your own ending and hope it comes true
For the lovers and strangers on bay avenue

Chorus:
Love in the library
Quiet and cool
Love in the library
There are no rules
Surrounded by stories
Surreal and sublime
I fell in love in the library
Once upon a time

Surrounded by stories
Surreal and sublime
I fell in love in the library
Once upon a time

Quietly making noise
By: jimmy buffett, michael tschudin
1993
Oscar wilde died in bed
Several floors above my head
Living well beyond his means
In that crazy paris scene
Rain falls down in sheets so clear
And no one ever calls me hear
Travelin' by myself these days
I'm into jazz and felt berets
Far from that old eastern shore
Searchin' for strange metaphors

I don't want to be another victim of fashion
No i don't want to see my name in the paper each day
Hey you can leave that to the young turks
They're handsome and dashing
Posing for paparazzi's down laguna way

Now down in the metro i feel the world start to multiply
Bastille, rubber wheels, spiked heels
Subterranean lullaby
Met an african prancer, a hemisphere dancer
Spied the ghost of brassens
We smiled at the secret we shared
And i hid it like contraband

Quietly making noise (quietly making noise)
Starts with kindergarten toys
Not too soft, not too loud
Just enough to draw a crowd
Quietly, quietly, quietly making noise

Followed the beat
Hey i found myself in this patois spot
Outside a blizzard was blowin'
But inside the joint was hot
Zouk songs, rubber thongs, sing-a-longs
The words flew right by my face
You know rhythm and motion's a blamma jamma potion
You cannot erase

Quietly making noise (quietly making noise)
Pissin' off the old kill-joys
Glasspacks on an hot mustang
A telecaster with a twang
Quietly, quietly, quietly making noise
Yes

Singers and writers and poets
Have flocked here for centuries
The city of light is built upon mountains of memories
Baritone saxophones, monotones
Speak with a voice i've heard before
It's a lasting impression
A gypsy expression you cannot ignore

We're quietly making noise (quietly making noise)
Starts with kindergarten toys
Not too soft, not too loud
Just enough to draw a crowd
Quietly, quietly, quietly making noise

Yeah, we're quietly making noise (quietly making noise)
Pissin' off the old kill-joys
Not too soft, not too loud
Just enough to draw a crowd
We're quietly, quietly, quietly
Quietly, quietly, quietly
Quietly, quietly, quietly making noise
That's right, ooh yeah
A whole lot of beautiful noise

--spoken:
"oh come on children, play those, play those kindergarten toys.
Everybody's a drummer tonight. all right. let it ring now, let
It ring."

Vampires, mummies, and the holy ghost
By: jimmy buffett, roger guth, jim mayer, peter mayer
1994
--spoken:
"ohhhh rock 'n roll is a scary business. no hit records, no mtv
Videos...you'll never make it here...scary. not! let's do it
Coral reefers...

Looked in my laptop, what did i see?
A flashin' message says today therapy
Rather walk through fire than converse with my shrink
But i'm getting better that's what some people think

Talk about denial and dysfunctional things
Head's like a bell somedays it dongs and it dings
My brain play tricks on me it likes to shift gears
Spend lots of money, but i'm tacklin' my fears

Chorus:
Vampires, mummies and the holy ghost
These are the things that terrify me the most
No aliens, psychopaths or mtv hosts
Scare me like vampires, mummies and the holy ghost
Ooohh

Had a dream last night took a time travellin' ride
Back to my childhood where those monsters reside
They nack on innocence and dine on self-esteem
But i like to be in touch with what makes me scream

Chorus:
Vampires, mummies and the holy ghost
These are the things that terrify me the most
No aliens, psychopaths or mtv host
Scares me like vampires, mummies and the holy ghost

I was never ever frightened by the murderer on our block
He nurtured orchids and raised hamsters
The neighborhood is still in shock

La la la la, la la la la....
La la la la, la la la la la la

La la la la, la la la la....
La la la la, la la la la la la

So many dragons lurking out in the fog
So many crazy people mumblin' monologues
It's not the tales of stephen king that i've read
I need protection from the things in my head
Like...

Chorus:
Vampires, mummies and the holy ghost
These are the things that terrify me the most
No aliens, psychopath or mtv host
Scares me like vampires, mummies and the holy ghost

Chorus:
Vampires, mummies and the holy ghost
These are the things that terrify me the most
No aliens, psychopath or mtv host
Scares me like vampires, mummies and the holy ghost

--spoken:
"ohhhhhoooohoooo. its scary out here in the world of rock n'
Roll. ohooohoo. ahh haa haa haa haah, ah haa haa haaah. ahh
Haa haa, hegh achh ach.
Scared ya, didn't i? ha ha"

Sunny afternoon
By: ray davies
1966
The taxman's taken' all my dough
And left me in this stately home
Lazin' on a sunny afternoon

And i can't even sail my yacht
He's taken' everything i've got
All i've got's this sunny afternoon
In the summertime...

Chorus:
Save me, save me, save me from this squeeze
I've got a big fat momma tryin' to break me
And i love to live so pleasantly
Live this life of luxury
Lazin' on a sunny afternoon
In the summertime...

My girlfriend's run off with my car
And gone back to her ma and pa
Tellin' tales of parrotheads and parties

And now i'm just sitting here
Sippin' on this ice-cold beer
Lazin' on a sunny afternoon
In the summertime...

Help me, help me, help me sail away
Well, give me two good reason why i ought to stay
'cause i love to live so pleasantly
Live this life of luxury
Lazy on a sunny afternoon
In the summertime...
In the summertime...
In the summertime...

Chorus:
Save me, save me, save me from this squeeze
I've got a big fat momma tryin' to break me
And i love to live so pleasantly
Live this life of luxury
Lazy on a sunny afternoon
In the summertime...
In the summertime...
In the summertime...
In the summertime...

Taxman's taken' all my dough (in the summertime)
Gonna find that passport and outta here i go
(in the summertime)

--spoken:
"catch me a flight to st. somewhere and get out of this cold
Weather. go somewhere where no body knows my name
Gotta keep my mouth shut. try to go to confession at least once
A week. somewhere preferably south of the equator, i believe.
Where it's summertime, where winter spends the summer. somewhere
Like that."

(in the summertime...)

Everybody's got a cousin in miami
By: jimmy buffett, michael tschudin
1993
--spoken:
"hey jimmy, you know anybody in miami that can get me a passport
Real quick?"

"oh yeah, yeah man. i've got a cousin up there. he knows
Everthing about everything. let's see if i've got his number
Here somewhere, yeah. no, he works out of a payphone...oh yeah.
I've got it here. okay. today's international investor,
Whatever that is. yeah, everybody's got a cousin in miami. here
We go."

It was was ninety miles to freedom
But they took the risk
Though ocean was all motion
And the wind was brisk
The deadly gunboats never saw them
In the pale moonlight
They were off to cayo hueso
By the dawn's early light
The gringo in the garden called the custom's man
They answered all his questions
Were allowed to land
The ladies shared a hairbrush
And their husbands had a coke
And they were taken up to krome
To meet with there kin folk

Chorus:
Everybody's got a cousin in miami
(everybody's got a cousin in miami)
Everybody understands the impromptu
Dancing in the heat to the beat
That turns your clothing clammy (ooooohhhhh)
Everybody needs to have a dream come true

In a third world jungle
Not so far away
Lives a natural drummer
With a dream to play
He's the brother of the lizard
And the flying fish
But he's enchanted by the pictures
>from the satellite dish
So his mama packs his bag
Knots his red neck tie
Send him north to her relations
With a kiss goodbye
He's bewildered by the plane ride
And the immigration line
Until he sees his christian name
Upon a cardboard sign

Chorus:
Everybody's got a cousin in miami
(everybody's got a cousin in miami)
Everybody is an aborigine
Dancing in the heat to the beat
It turns your clothing clammy (ooooohhhhh)
Everybody want to win that lottery

--spoken:
"and the winning numbers are...7, 6, 5, 3, 7, 9. uh, close, so
Close. history lesson, history lesson."

It's hard to believe this city started as a trading post
Home to the seminole pirate and pioneer
Between the river of grass and the old mosquito coast
Before the railroad claimed the southernmost frontier

I am umbilically connected to the temperate zone
It brought me life, it brought me love
I never have outgrown
Brought me one too many nights along that biscayne shore
And one too many mornings in the grove drugstore

And one way or the other we're all refugees
Livin' out this easy life below the banyan trees
Smoothing off the rougher edges of the culture clash
We've got a style we've got a look
We've got that old panache

Chorus:
Everybody's got a cousin in miami
(everybody's got a cousin in miami)
Everybody understands the impromptu
Dancing in the heat to the beat
It turns your clothing clammy (ooooohhhhh)
Everybody needs to have a dream come true

--spoken:
"i do, i do. let's take it down boys. down south to those
Little latitudes. ya ya, ya ya. thank you robert.

Chorus:
Everybody's got a cousin in miami
(everybody's got a cousin in miami)
Everybody is an aborigine
Dancing in the heat to the beat
It turns your clothing clammy (ooooohhhhh)
Under the stars in the bars down by the sea
Oh me now

Everybody's got a cousin in miami
(everybody's got a cousin in miami)
Everybody has to have that impromptu

--spoken:
"what are we doing now?"

Dancing in the heat to the beat
It turns your clothing clammy (ooooohhhhh)
Everybody needs to have a dream come true

--spoken:
"i do. i do. i had this dream the other day. i was down on the
Equator. i didn't know whether i was up or down. i couldn't
Tell the difference. it was hot and we were rockin'. and the
Coral reefers gathered around me and they said: we want a raise
Or we're going to quit. and that's when i woke up. so play
Boys, play."