 Musical Monkey » Тексты [+ Добавлять +] |
1. _ Do The Hustle
Hey, how did everybody get in my room?
It's saturday, another perfect day
Till i hit the boardwalk
Headed toward the peir
You're fucking gay!
Fuck you! get outta my way
50,000 jack-offs
All on rollerblades
Greased up dolphin shorts
Wrist guards so it won't hurt
Your mediocre girlfriend hits a parked car, yeah
But until the day, you learn to surf or skate
College jack o fagget
Sportin oakley blades yeah
All on rollerblades
Crash helmets to be safe, yeah
Whoopie, it's fun to skate
I'll do a figure 8
Watch me do a circle going backwards down the stairs
Oh gee, this is fun. looks like i'd better run
14 guys on skateboards
Wanna ollie off my head, yeah
This sport is so extreme
You roller disco queen
Go and do the hustle
At the rollerwonderland
She blades to shrink her thighs
So she can justify
2 all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce cheese
Pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun
Neat, neat, i really think it's neat
I'm stealing every trick off every skateboarder i meet
Neat, neat, i really think it's neat
You stupid fagget rollerbladers!
Rollerwonderland
Cum-guzzlin fruitcakes
I hope you break your hands
Rollerwonderland
Cum-guzzlin fruit cake
I hope you break your fuckin neck!
You stupid rollerblader, get the fuck outta the way!
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2. _ When Hell Freezes Over
I cant belive
What the fucks
In front of me
You must be fucking 70
At least
What the hells your problem?
Problem
Ozzy & motley crew
& kiss i thought that you were through
But i kinda liked the kiss show
Lets get ozzy of the stage
Lets get motley of the stage
Lets get stanley of the stage tonight
You were good 20 years ago
Too much pot a little to much blow
Now the bypass surgery new hip
At seisure world enjoy your stay
Shuffle board bingo macrame
3 hot meals liquefied for you
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3. _ What's The Big Deal?
Its a 3 day weekend
I'm loading up my truck
Got tons of beer
Might shoot a deer
Blow the shit out of a duck
Stever's got a crossbow
Jamie a shotgun
Anything that fuckin moves
Ready aim fire (blam)!
Oh my god i cant believe
The antlers on that buck
It would take 40 men
To load him in my truck
Nice shot
Nice shot
Yee haw!!!!!!!
Got that sucker right between the eyes
Lets get a cold one don
Love seats made from hides
Stock your smoke house full of meat
Pink and blue and yellow keychains
Made from rabbits feet
Trade your jerky to the indians
Enjoy a coon skin hat
Whip up some homemade crisco
With the extra fat
(im wishin)
A flock of geese would fly on by
(im hopin) i can bag not 4 but 5
(reloadin)
Jesus fuckin christ
Thats the biggest moose i've ever seen
Get my gun goddamnit get him, get him!
If i cant shoot them
Ill start a forest fire
Watch em run
Right at my gun
No need for oscar meyer
God damn! thats a fine lookin piece of meat young man
That one's for me
Are you ready?
Im ready for that one there
Trophies on your wall
Slap some new boots on your feet
The wallet in my pocket
Kinda smells like meat
A half a dozen quail
A hearty rack of lamb
There must be 50 beavers
In that fuckin dam
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4. _ Lipstick
On a tuesday afternoon
My mom came into my room
And said get the fuck up outta bed
And get a god damned job
So i told her hey fuck you mom
And i threw the phone at her head
But i missed and hit her in the cunt
So i slammed the door in her face
And said don't ever barge in my room
Or ill kick your ass and call the cops
And tell them i'm abused
And you'll wind up in jail
While i snowboard in vail
No one to post your bail
Cuz daddy loves me more
He says that your a
Your worthless your lazy your stupid
A little over weight
Now give me 20 bucks
Mommy your so
Worthless your lazy your stupid
A little over weight
Now give me 20 bucks
No make it 50 bucks
Now mom writes me letters
I write return to sender
Let her rot in her cell
I watch the dogs mate on her bed
So sorry mommy i had to pawn
The china, silver and all your jewelry
I had to eat and rent a bunch of prostitutes
Like you
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5. _ What If?
Dateline the early 1970's
The now world famous rock quartet
The doors, lead singer james morrison
Has recently died
While down but certainly not out
The surviving members desparetly
Tried to piece together their broken lives
Every option was considered, a new name
The windows, the walls, even the door knobs
Ultimately, the band opted to carry on
Under the original doors name
Auditioning new singers
One young hopeful, a struggling art
Student from athens, georgia,
Fred schnider, who went on to front
The hugely successful, b-52's tried
Our for this position
The lyrical style of young schnider,
More known for his quick wit and
Imprompto jams was hard fought
To match the well structured
Melodies of the classic doors numbers
Lets listen in.........
Love me 2 times
Love me 3 times
I've got me a car
It seats about 20
So hurry up and bring
Your juke box money
Gloria
Gloria
Your livin in your own private idaho
Livin in your own private idaho
This is the end
This is the end
Wammy kiss me wammy hug
Revitalize me give me wammy love yea!
Light my fire
We couldn't get much higher
He was in a jam
He's in a giant clam
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6. _ Baker's Dozen
Oh my god
I'm confused
I wanna go punk
But there's way too many rules
Pardon me
Mr. punker
I'm looking for some insight
On the core that's right for me
Tell me please
I'm down on my knees
I like my beer
I like my steer
I don't want any holes in my face
I'm no queer
I bought some docs
Black flag rocks
Mosh and crowd surf
I wanna be unusual, i wanna be punk rock
I wanna be unusual, i wanna be punk rock
Should i be emo
And just cry?
Maybe i'll go ska core
And skank until i die
How bout hardcore? really hardcore
I fuckin hate that metal shit
Sober vegans you all suck!
So what's your core?
Stupid whore
You must be a riot girl
You're not very funny
Nice tatoo
Use some shampoo
Rice cakes, soy milk
Go sid vicious
Ska core
Snow core
Hard core
Homo core
Alba core
I can't take it anymore
My core
Your core
This core
That core
One core
I can't take it!!
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7. _ Musical Monkey
I've got a fanzine
So i should know
Everything bout every band
I turned punk 2 years ago
I tell my subjects
I'm d.i.y.
I'll your band a sellout
& i'll tell convienient lies
I've got a lot of staples
And to much....
Time to trash a band
They fucking blow
Since i wasn't on the list
I didn't make the show oh well
No major labels
They really suck
Except for bad religion
Can't get their sticker of my truck
Got my own agenda
I write the rules
I'll use my moms cash
Nobody knows
Are you calling me a liar
Yeah my story has some holes
I'll start a label
Rip of the bands
I will liberate the punk scene
Just part of my master plan
If its in my zine
It must be true
Who told you i'm always crying
Just because i'm getting sued
That guys an asshole
That bands on ludes
I guess my little fanzine
Is like the weekly world news
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8. _ Big Pink Dress
Howdy folks its me again got a message to convey
Im so confused whats to lose i think i might turn gay
On the day my bitch left
She said "stick in your rear"
She never thought she'd hear these words
"ooh your mustache is so tickly down there"
(drill my ass)
Oh god its tight
(drill my ass)
This is my first time
(drill my ass)
Love you - love you too
Live with bill its such a thrill
We get it on so fine
We tend our garden everyday
Sometimes in 69
Play dress up and have puppet shows
We skip and dance and sing
He's so helpful, shaves my back
Mark its my turn to wear the cowboy hat
(its so hard)
The way he holds me
(it's so hard)
I could just die
(it's so hard)
Then we go drinking
And we start thinking
But doin it liberace
Then we bake a quiche
We went to church he held my hand
I gazed into his eyes
He kissed my ear, i said oh dear
My shaft began to rise
He whispered let's get married
I squeaked and shouted yes
Suddenly our live's a mess
He wore a tux, i wore a big pink dress
(drill my ass)
Not sure i'm right
(drill my ass)
What was i thinking
(drill my ass)
I like bull fights
(drill my ass)
No more knitting
(drill my ass)
No more skipping
I tried it once, for a whole six months
But so long moustache!
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9. _ Lucky The Donkey
My mother fucked a donkey down in mexico
She had trienta margaritas trienta years ago
Her purse had just been stolen
She had to make some cash
For 50,000 pesos
The donkey fucked her ass
Im so ashamed it made me sick
My mother's box was his salt lick
Human donkey fornication
Her taco is the destination
It soon became apparent
It wasnt for the dough
A genuine fiesta - at the donkey show
The crowd would shout "ole!"
As she nibbled on his sack
They never had a patron
Demand their money back
The donkeys name was lucky
Oh boy he loved to fuck
He'd get so damn excited
He'd kick and make you duck
If you want to be a star
Its easy to be famous
Just pull down your pants
And let lucky fuck your anus
A real freak show in the pit
The donkey's fuckin my moms tits
Acting like a true ranchero
Dancing around a big sombrero
Lucky the luckiest donkey
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10. _ Good Friday
Thank you for the easter bunny
Sitting at my door
It wasn't made of chocolate
But it shit right on my floor
Thank you god for christmas trees
Return the gifts for money
Thank you for my paycheck
Now here's your 10%
I'd love to give you more
But i barely make my rent
Thank you lord for turning
Fruity grapes right into wine
It sure does make it easy
To try out my pick-up line
Once there was no t.p.
Inside my hotel room
The bible had 10,000 pages
But i only used a few
Sunday school such a joy
Forced to fondle reverend roy
Good friday
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11. _ Perfect World
If i lived in a perfect world
I would spend my days lying in the sun
The party never ends in a perfect world
If your life has hit the skids
Wave goodbye to the wife & kids
I'm ready to move in to a perfect world
Nacho cheese and anarchy
Boy that sure sounds good to me
Every kind of drug is free
In the new america
Shoot your pistol in the air
Celebrate a brand new year
Living leisurely in a perfect world
Everybody's drinking hams
Good by all you straight edge bands
Sit around and get a tan
In the new america
When i turn on my t.v.
Nothing but pornography
No more rated "g" in a perfect world
Strung out hookers everywhere
Have a picnic feed the bears
Now nobody even cares
In the new america
Nothing in this worlds for free
Cause everything belongs to me
No more green fees in a perfect world
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12. _ Abort Mission
It's friday night, i've got a date
With this vegan girl katee
You know i really like her style
Smile, style
Oh, i love you, kate
But you've gone too far
You won't even sit in my brand new car
It's got reclining bucket seats
And a cd player, so what's your fucking beef?
Is it my cozy leather seats?
Is it the covers made from sheep?
Ok, i guess that we can walk, and walk, and walk
What kind of guy do you think i am?
You only take off your shoes when you're in japan
I bought this outfit just for you
So what if they're suede?
And now my jacket too
So what am i supposed to do?
I'll freeze to death and catch the flu
Ok, i'll do it just for you
We made it out and we had an ok time
I caught pneumonia and a mild case of frostbite
She said i'm sorry, mark. i hope that you pull through
Next time we go out please just wear some different shoes
I tried to fuck her and you know what happened then
She said that condom you've got's made from a lamb's skin
So what's your problem?
Last friday night, you know i had a date
It was with this vegan girl
I think her name was kate
If you're lookin for some action, or if you wanna score
Just eat some bark and acorns
And she will like you more than me!
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13. _ Sucking Dick For Beer
She's a little angel
Only 17
She don't need no money
She just winks her eye
She wont give you any
But if your in a band
Then she'll call you daddy
I think you understand
Mommy's little princess
If they could se her now
Their precious little girl
You know she's going down
She thinks she's got them fooled
But everybody sees
That she ain't no angel
But hell she aims to please
She'll make you think that
Your the one
Loves you for an hour
Than she's gone
Every weekend its
Another band
She's seen everybody's
Tour van
Stay away from me, stay away from me
You fucked all the punk bands
It don't make you cool
You have become a joke
Its time to be yorself
Its time to stop the act
I might like you better
So just get of your back
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14. _ Corpse Rotting In Hell
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