Live From The Pharmacy

Something's up
Something's on my mind
I try to go to sleep
I try to pass the time
What gives you the right
To kill a harmless carrot
Growing in god's sunlight

You say they're best
You say they're best for you
I say it's not true
You say they make
A damn good stew
So it's time
It's time to liberate
Don't eat a carrot
Spare it
And don't eat the beet
On your plate

All my friends say
Veggies feel no pain
All my friends say
Veggies have no brains
All my friends say
Veggies feel no pain
Don't stir fry by me!

I don't like the things you like
And you don't like the things i like
She don't like the things they like
So who the fuck is really right
See a skinhead at a show
Let him know he's got to go
Fuck white power, the kkk
A-s-s-h-o-l-e!

Everyone's an asshole
My mom's an asshole
You're a fucking asshole
And i'm a goddamn asshole

Mom and dad, the grateful dead
Major labels and straight edge
Coors and school and roller blades
God, rick james and oakley shades
Fishing, wayne, silly jocks
Nazis, midgets, new tube socks
L.d. from m.r.&r.
And fucking zeppelin man

Hippies, harleys, pearl jam
Chili peppers, case of spam
Riot grrls, ponch and jon
Squash and pork and carmel flan
We hate these things
We hate you, too
Go fuck a monkey in the zoo
Oscar meyer has a way with
B.o.l.o.g.n.a.

Fish out of water!
Marco-polo!

Okay, here's the story about my mom and dad
One was white
One was black
I bet you think you're glad
I'm a half breed, my skin is fair yet tan
I don't know what the hell i'm on
So 1, 2...1, 2, 3 slam!!!
Kinky hair when i wake up
Straight when i go to bed
My dad speaks jive talk to me, don't know what he just said
My mother she's a honkey
My dad's kentucky fried
I don't know what the hell i'm on
So 1, 2...1, 2, 3 slam!!!
Back at home it's black eyed peas with a pot roast on the side
It's hot dogs on friday nights
The chicken's country fried
My dad says "yo boy pass the peas!"
My mom says pass the squash
I need something to ease the pain
So i'll go downtown and get some downers
Whoa, man, i'm a little bit slow
But i've got to get up somehow
Got no money
Just a good idea
Let me tell you how
I'll steal my parents credit cards
Oh yes i'll rip them off
I'll go downtown to where dad works
And get myself some cocaine
Now i'm high, and i'm not shy
I'll get it off my chest
My mom is white, she thinks she's right
She thinks that she's the best
My dad is just a negro, he's not one to play golf
I don't know what the hell i am
So 1, 2...1, 2, 3 slam!!!

Well, i got myself a new car
Of course it's 44 years old
It's currently not running
But it's worth its weight in gold
It's colored prim(er)
But it's all min(er)
I paid 10 grand
For this tina can
Come payday she'll be runnin
V8's milkshakes, yeehaw!
Fuzzy dice, jesus christ, yeehaw!
Well she's really lookin good
Just sitting on my lawn
All i need is everything
It shouldn't take me long ha ha!
Maybe by summ(er)
I'll find a bump(er)
This piece of shit
It ain't worth it
I should've bought a datsun
No brakes shortcake, yeehaw!
You fucking idiot!
You fucking idiot!
You fucking idiot!
You fucking idiot!
Runs strong but not too long, yeehaw!
Flat tire new it's on fire, yeehaw!

Go fuck your system
I'd rather die
Than support your terrorist war
Leave it alone
You levy your tax
Deny me a job
Fucking cops harrassing me
Just tell me why
Why why why
Capitalist rules
Fascist mom and dad
Identity is washed away
Bloodsucking state
Clinton equals hitler
Money fans the flames
Idol worship like a sheep
Don't let them win
Don't use your brain
Everything's ok
Relax and watch tv
Have a nice day no
No no no
The human race is gone
Thanx to ww3
You gave your life for nothing son
Son of liberty die
Die die die
Don't let them win
Don't cast a vote
Don't live in silence
Don't put down your arms
Don'tbe a puppet
Don't choose their way
Don't feed the bears
Don't live their lie

What the hell is going on
We never get to play
Are we too drunk
Are they too drunk
It's just the scene today

The owner of your club
Would like to hear it
Nice and slow
But we'll sit here
And drink your beer
And spill it on your floor
We don't play rock & roll

We try to play some metal for you
To bang each other's heads
But when it comes to my stuff
Why don't you tell me, man
What's gone wrong...

I've had my pet
Since i was nine years old
I loved him and fed him
But one day he attacked
I knew he didn't love me back
So i grabbed him like a football
And punted fifty yards

Now i hate pets
Take yourself to the vet
Now i hate pets
Dolphins trapped in little nets
Now i hate pets
You little fucking
Screaming shit-bag
I should of let your mother
Eat you, little fucker

So i got a little birdy
And i trained it everyday
He knew 1000 words
But then he flew away
But then i got him back
The fucker wouldn't shut his trap
So i took him to the bathroom
And rubbed his beak in shit

Now i hate pets
Spotted owls in their nests
Now i hate pets
Bagged a deer and made a vest
Now i hate pets
Birds and bees and bears and bison
Pigs and parrots and pandas
I fucking hate them all!!!

I was walking through the park
When a snake peered from his hole
A perfect opportunity
To take the bastard home
I chopped his fucking head off
With my handy garden hoe
And made a lovely hat-band
For my redneck cousin bo, heee-haaw!

Now i hate pets
10,000 volts to the chest
Now i hate pets
Fed my cat some cigarettes
Now i hate pets
You little fucking
Screaming shit-bag
Bastard
Fuck you, you
Fucking pig-shit licker, fuck!!!!!!