Friendly People

I don't like the things you like
And you don't like the things i like
She don't like the things they like
So who the fuck is really right
See a skinhead at a show
Let him know he's got to go
Fuck white power, the kkk
A-s-s-h-o-l-e!

Everyone's an asshole
My mom's an asshole
You're a fucking asshole
And i'm a goddamn asshole

Mom and dad, the grateful dead
Major labels and straight edge
Coors and school and roller blades
God, rick james and oakley shades
Fishing, wayne, silly jocks
Nazis, midgets, new tube socks
L.d. from m.r.&r.
And fucking zeppelin man

Hippies, harleys, pearl jam
Chili peppers, case of spam
Riot grrls, ponch and jon
Squash and pork and carmel flan
We hate these things
We hate you, too
Go fuck a monkey in the zoo
Oscar meyer has a way with
B.o.l.o.g.n.a.

Oh my god, what time is it?
I'm late again, this sucks
Where's my other shoe? fuck!
I need a drink-god damn!

Did i get gas last night?
Oh, well, roll the dice
Ha-ha, i gotta to to vegas soon
I really miss those wonderful casinos
And friendly people

Fuck, i hate those people
In the carpool lane
We carpool, oooo, go fuck yourself
I'm probably fired already, shit
Oh, well
Only nine more hours
Till dollar drafts
And free meatballs
You're late

You know, what pisses me off more than anything is all these people who
Aren't exactly politically correct. like the other day, i was out walking
My siberian-american huskies. and you know how canines are: they like to
Sniff everything, including each other's butts. so some guy walks up and
He says, "man, get your dog's ass out of that other dog's nose!"

So, i replied, "how dare you call them dogs! they're siberian-american
Huskies. that's like calling an african-american a black. or calling a
Mexican-american a mexican. or calling a homosexual a stupid faggot!" it
Pissed me off so much i got a nose ring, died my hair blue and moved to
San francisco!

My bus is broken down
My spirit's broken too
My girl's by my side
So i don't feel so blue
Thirty miles more
To make it to the city
Where junk is king
And the air smells shitty

What a friendly town
It really suits us well
It took some getting used to
That fucking hippy smell
Everyone corrects me
Every time i speak
I'm sick and fucking tired
Of feeling like a stupid l.a. geek

I like it
I like it
I like it
I like it, yes i do

I say it's not an issue
It doesn't shed much light
On a global scale
It isn't worth the fight
The tongue that girl speaks
Is forked to you and me
That bitch has got a problem
I think it's called p.c.

Sometimes i let things get me down
People tell me that i've got no future
Not this time, i'm gonna prove them wrong
I'm gonna screw them all and beat the system

Distinguish myself
From the rest of the flock
With my huge blue mohawk
I choose not to follow the norm
I'm as capable and more qualified than most

People, you've gotta face the fact
Realize that we can make a difference
Ignorance, the plague is everywhere
You know you gotta care about your freedoms

Single handedly
I will wage my war on a personal level
Everyday i will attack the establishment
Fishing without a license
And i will drink wine befoe it's time

Everything will be okay
Sit at home and watch television
Don't think anymore
No time for self expression
Keep me in the closet man, in the dark
Be a number, not a human
Number 201 report for duty, sir

This time...i'm gonna prove them wrong
This time...i'll show them that i'm strong
This time...i'll fight until the end
This time...just you and i my friend
This time...

What the hell is going on
We never get to play
Are we too drunk
Are they too drunk
It's just the scene today

The owner of your club
Would like to hear it
Nice and slow
But we'll sit here
And drink your beer
And spill it on your floor
We don't play rock & roll

We try to play some metal for you
To bang each other's heads
But when it comes to my stuff
Why don't you tell me, man
What's gone wrong...

I've had my pet
Since i was nine years old
I loved him and fed him
But one day he attacked
I knew he didn't love me back
So i grabbed him like a football
And punted fifty yards

Now i hate pets
Take yourself to the vet
Now i hate pets
Dolphins trapped in little nets
Now i hate pets
You little fucking
Screaming shit-bag
I should of let your mother
Eat you, little fucker

So i got a little birdy
And i trained it everyday
He knew 1000 words
But then he flew away
But then i got him back
The fucker wouldn't shut his trap
So i took him to the bathroom
And rubbed his beak in shit

Now i hate pets
Spotted owls in their nests
Now i hate pets
Bagged a deer and made a vest
Now i hate pets
Birds and bees and bears and bison
Pigs and parrots and pandas
I fucking hate them all!!!

I was walking through the park
When a snake peered from his hole
A perfect opportunity
To take the bastard home
I chopped his fucking head off
With my handy garden hoe
And made a lovely hat-band
For my redneck cousin bo, heee-haaw!

Now i hate pets
10,000 volts to the chest
Now i hate pets
Fed my cat some cigarettes
Now i hate pets
You little fucking
Screaming shit-bag
Bastard
Fuck you, you
Fucking pig-shit licker, fuck!!!!!!