Stranger In My Own Backyard

Number 4 in the beginning
There was one--
Himself had just began
Then along came number 2--
The other way round is your clue
And after that came 3--
Written by you know me
Now i'm not saying anymore
Except to tell you
That this is not number 1: number2:
Number 3: or number 5 but number 4

I can mark time walk a straight line
Grab a mad bull by the nose
I can stand still on an ant-hill
And not once get itchy toes
I can even for no reason
Be as nice as i am rude
But i can't get you to love me
I just can't get you to love me
What do i do?

I can stand up put my hand up
Where perhaps it shouldn't be
I can go down to a hoe-down?
Have one hell of a yippee!
I can also if you must know
Do whatever else i choose
But i can't get you to love me
I just can't get you to love me
What do i do?

All of my life i've been waiting
For a moment like this
And now that i've found it
You know something's amiss
Can't get you to love me...

I can tell tales hammer toe-nails
Write a letter to the queen
I can easily and discreetly
Be as charming as obscene
When i feel light

I can take a fight
But i know one thing for sure
I just can't get you to love me
I just can't get you to love me
What do i do?

Whatever you are whatever you miss
Whatever you're thinking whatever it is
Whatever you feel and whatever you do
Remember there's always somebody
Worse off than you
Always somebody worse off than you
You know that there's always somebody
Worse off than you -

I may be old fashioned
So what if i am
I'm not any different
To any other man
I'm not one of those
Who look for blood from a stone
But i believe
A woman's place is in the home.

Now i'm not one to kid you
You know it's not my style
I wouldn't want to hurt you
Not even for a while
I'm all for a woman
Who can make it on her own
But i believe
A woman's place is in the home.
Ooh baby i believe, i do
A woman's place is in the home.

Wonder what would have happened
Had a woman flattened
Rocky marciano's nose
Would there have been
A change of views
Would women no longer be used
The way they seem
To think they're being

I know what you're thinking
And you've every right to moan
But i believe, yes indeed, i do,
A woman's place is in the home.
Ooh baby i believe, i do
A woman's place is --in the home

Oh i was walking down the street
When a man came up to me
And said don't i know you?
And i said, well, you might do
But the thing is ooh, the thing is
I don't know you-

Now i was driving in my car
And i had not gone very far
When from out of nowhere
I thought i saw a big bear
But the thing is ooh, the thing is
No bear was there -

Did somebody here just mention (hong kong)
Isn't that the place where suzi (wong's form)
I saw the film (and did you like it?)
Well, to be honest i didn't mind it.

Oh, i was sitting back in my chair
When a man came on the air
And said, well, hello there
And, i said, well, hello there
But the thing is (but the thing is)
Ooh, the thing is (ooh, the thing is)

I don't have a radio
I don't have a radio
But i've got a sister in crewe
I don't have a radio
I don't have a radio
And i've got a brother there, too.
Do you?
Interlude
That's all for now
But before you turn to the other side
You can go out
With a taste of the music i'll provide
There are songs that i've written recently like...
(extract)
And some that were written previously
Why not hear-me

Did you ever (never) neither have i
Well, pardon me for breathing but
Would you give me back my cup
You know the one i mean
Yes, you do because i've seen you take it out
From time to time
I wonder would you mind

Excuse me ma'm your hand it's on my knee
Oh, would you mind removing it
My collars getting rather stiff
And i'm not one to fuss
But if i don't catch my bus
I'm afraid i won't be home in time
I wonder would you mind

If i asked you for a date
Kept you out three hours late
Would you be happy or upset
Would you no longer have respect for me
Would i just be a danger

On your mark get set all ready go
And don't be such a silly ass
Just because you failed to pass
It doesn't mean to say
You can't try another day
Why even failures pass in time
I wonder would you mind

See the statues in the square
They almost look alive
It's amazing after all these years
How they've survived
Two young children gazing at them
Faces so forlorn
One is saying to the other
I wonder how they're born

It's funny how we always tend
To look back on our past
As if they were the only good times
That we're ever going to have

See the river heading outwards
Watch the ships sail in
Notice how despite their size
They very rarely sink

Tell the man who's watching with you
His shoelace is undone
When he looks pretend you didn't notice
You were wrong

And anytime there's trouble up ahead
Don't get into a state
Where you wish you were dead
Just take your time and do
What you believe is right
It could turn out to be
A blessing in disguise-disguise-

It's funny how we always tend
To overlook the bad
Doesn't anybody know that
It's so easy to be sad

Talk about doing what you do best
Seems to me the more you do
The less you get
All told i would say that it was pretty grim
Although on the other hand
I've got a ring

Mass unemployment's at an all time best
Why not quit your job and take a well earned rest
Grow old on the dole
That's the life i need
Everybody's doing it so why not me

This pleasure book i'm writing
Doesn't give me any thrill
All it does is prove conclusively
Where there's a way there's will
Who by the way along with mary
Peter, patsy, and paul.
Has the cheek to turn the other
When the other was on the ball

It will be done thy will become
Not this or that or thee
But something far more mature
Like victor e.

I can't forget the moment
Of my very first affair
When the lights were low
The music so soft fred, my record player
Began to do the two step
Side by side my prize antique
And before you know it there they were
Engaging cheek to cheek

It will be done thy will become
Not this or that or thee
But something far more mature
Like victor e.

If ever there's a moment
I feel absolutely sure
That what i'm about to verge upon
Won't rate the least obscure
Then just to recap on that point
I'd like now this to say
When the indians begin to charge
What will the cavalry pay

It will be done thy will become
Not this or that or thee
But something far more mature
Like victor e.

Victor a. victor b. victor c. victor d.
Victor e