Himself

I've no wish to hurry you luv
But have you seen the time
It's quarter to ten and we're supposed to be there
At nine
I don't think the registrar
Will be very pleased
When we show up an hour late
Like two frozen peas
Both now facing for the first time
Presently and past
Something that begins with m
And ends in alas
More than not complete disaster
Even form the start
What could it be...
It's matrimony

I know how you've dreamt about
Being walked down the aisle
But think of the money we'll save
And you'll see it's worthwhile
It won't please our mums and dads
But they don't even know,
Besides if they did what's the betting
They wouldn't even go
You and me are all that matters
Disregard the rest
Trust your soon to be old man
He knows what is best
Very shortly now there's going to be
An answer from you
Then one from me
That's matrimony

I'm truly grateful for the little things in life
That have made me so glad
Every other hour that i spend with you
Is not in the least bit sad
Quite the opposite in fact
And if you don't believe me
Here's the proof
Ask me if i and i'll say "aye, i do"

You and me are all that matters
Disregard the rest
Trust your soon to be old man
He knows what is best
Very shortly now there's going to be
An answer from you
Then one from me
That's matrimony

Marriage-the joining together of the two people
For better or for worse till death them do part
Ole!

If i give up the seat i've been saving
To some elderly lady or man
Am i being a good boy
Am i your pride and joy
Mother please if your pleased say i am
And if while in the course of my duty
I perform an unfortunate take
Would you punish me so, unbelievably so

Never again will i make that mistake
This feeling inside me could never deny me
The right to be wrong if i choose
And this pleasure i get
From say winning a bet
Is to lose


When i'm drinking my bonaparte shandy
Eating more than enough apple pies
Will i glance at my screen and see real human beings strave to death
Right in front of my eyes

Nothing old, nothing new, nothing ventured
Nothing gained, nothing still-born or lost,
Nothing further than proof nothing wilder than youth
Nothing older than time, nothing sweeter than wine
Nothing physically, recklessly, hopelessly blind
Nothing i couldn't say
Nothing why 'cos today
Nothing rhymed


This feeling inside me could never deny me
The right to be wrong if i choose,
And this pleasure i get
From say winning a bet
Is to lose

Nothing good, nothing bad, nothing ventured
Nothing gained, nothing still-born or lost,
Nothing further than proof nothing wilder than youth
Nothing older than time, nothing sweeter than wine
Nothing physically, recklessly, hopelessly blind
Nothing i couldn't say
Nothing why 'cos today
Nothing rhymed

Doctor in love who is above
All others close to you
Is it the queen is it obscene
Tell me i want you to
Oh i've often wondered what it is that incites
So many young people to take part in those riots
Whereby all men in blue are the targets to destroy
Lady be good i wish you would
Meanwhile exclusively
Have i the right to print in spite
Of what your views would be
Concerning those matters of the utmost degree
The point being the question and the question being he
Who laughs first has a thirst to laugh longest
Has he?
Over there(over where)
Over there(over where)
On the wall(what wall)
The one in the hall(oh the hall)
I can see(we can see)
Well you could have fooled me

(break)

Some take the attitude that life is a drag
They say and i quote "man it just isn't our bag"
But if that's where it's at why the hell don't they go
Houdini said to get out of bed
Was the hardest thing he could do
Yet when he's tied strait-jacket plied
He's out at the count of two
It seems elementary my dear watson i know
But think what would happen if for instance this show
That we're in should begin not one hour but
Two late
Over there(over where)
Over there(over where)
On the wall(what wall)
The one in the hall(oh the hall)
I can see(we can see)
Well you could have fooled me

Oh heaven help our linda
She's really done it now
What's more it's all so obvious
I mean her stomachs sticking out
If father tells me' mother
She's bound to have a fit
Followed by a neat convulsion
Thanks to our permissive twit
She thinks his name was ronald
Or was it sid or len
The only thing that's certain
Is that it wasn't bill or ben
Our parish priest god bless him
The very reverend father pitt
Will no doubt be preaching sermons
To our dear permissive twit
By now the word
Will no doubt have been heard
By almost every bleeding nosy parker in our alley
All except that is
Our own great aunt liz
Who i hear's been deaf since the day our grace
Recorded sally, sally, sally

(break)

Unless we raise the money
She'll have to let it out
What i mean is she will have to
Have it the right way wrong way about
In other words let nature
Take its course and do its bit
For the sake of those concerned with
Own dear permissive
Dear permissive twit

Oh no said i don't dare defy my word
Don't you impede my heart
Make my sight blurred
Unless of course you feel
That confrontations are funny
Or sad with occasional sunny
Spells
You will be so intensely slow
But then
You've always been that way
Since i don't know when
However wouldn't it be
Rather nice if in some way
You could run with the minimum of effort a relay
I don't love you look down or above you
So why should i hesitate
Not letting out my independent air
That sweet aroma of contentment i implore
You not to ignore
Although i have to anyway


(break)

However wouldn't it be
Rather nice if in some way
You could run with the minimum of effort a relay
I don't love you look down or above you
So why should i hesitate
Not letting out my independent air
That sweet aroma of contentment i implore
You not to ignore
Although i have to anyway

Ladies and gentlemen
Allow me to present myself to you
On this my first l.p. debut.

There's people who believe
That what we're to receive
Is meant to happen anyway
Then there're those who'll admit
That they're literally scared stiff of it
No matter what you say
Then there are those who'll astound
By simply being around to play
Thunder and lightning ain't worth fighting
So lock yourself away or else face it all tonight
I was supposed to meet her at eight
Now i find it's gone eight
And i haven't done a thing
There's people all around me
People who have found me
Not very funny when i sing
A little song about the bad things
The weather can do
Thunder and lightning ain't worth fighting
So lock yourself away or else face it all tonight
People running everywhere
There's not a soul who'll stay out there
And i don't think there will be tonight
But we've got to accept what's right

(break)

Thunder and lightning etc.
I'm trying hard to remember
Was it last november
When i got caught under a tree
I stood there like a fool
Without so much as a stool
That i could sit upon to comfort me
I shudder at the thought
Howerer i got out safely
Thunder and lightning etc...