Bachelor No. 2

they're all still on their honeymoon
Just read the dialogue balloon
Everyone loves you--
Why should they not?
And i'm the only one who knows
That disneyland's about to close
I don't suppose you'd give it a shot
Knowing all that you've got


Are cigarettes and red vines
Just close your eyes, 'cause, baby--
You never do know
And i'll be on the sidelines,
With my hands tied,
Watching the show


Well, it's always fun and games until
It's clear you haven't got the skill
In keeping the gag from going too far
So you're running 'round the parking lot
'til every lightning bug is caught
Punching some pinholes
In the lid of a jar
While we wait in the car


With cigarettes and red vines
Just close your eyes, 'cause, baby--
You never do know
And i'll be on the sidelines,
With my hands tied,
Watching the show


And tell me, would it kill you
Would it really spoil everything
If you didn't blame yourself
Do you know what i mean?


Cigarettes and red vines
Just close your eyes, 'cause,
Baby--
You never do know
And i'll be on the sidelines,
With my hands tied,
Watching the show
Watching the show

As we were speaking of the devil
You walked right in
Wearing hubris like a medal
You revel in
But it's me at whom you'll level
Your javelin


Wasn't that just our dear friend ron?
Throwing your weight around the sun
Happier now that you've become
What you hated


I'm surprised i even thought i
Had half a chance
I was just one in a million
Of also-rans
Who was sure to be your victim
Of circumstance


Once you were just our dear friend ron
Selling the soul you swore upon
Spreading the word that you've become
What you hated


And if i don't understand...
Well, i guess it takes all kinds


I would like to keep this vision
Of you intact--
When we'd hang around and listen
To bacharach
And you loved the world you lived in
And it loved you back


Once you were just our dear friend ron
Now you look out for number one
Who would've guessed that you'd become
What you hated


And i guess it takes all kinds

Oh, susan, you were clued in
You knew just how this thing would go
A prognosis that was hopeless
From the very first domino
I guess i see it all in hindsight
I tried to keep perspective despite
The flash of the fuse, the smell of cordite


Now i'm in that place again
And i know he can't come in to get me
And someday he will live to regret me
Susan, i can see it now


Oh, suzie--they get to me
They can really be wearying
But he threw me rope and buoy
Let me use his decoder ring
There must have been some kind of parade
We kissed for a while to see how it played
And pulled the pin on another grenade


Now i'm in that place again
And i know he can't come in to get me
And someday he will live to regret me
Suzie, i can see it now


Oh, susan, the hope of fusion
Is that the halo will reappear
It may be pure illusion
But it's beautiful while it's here
I had some trouble with the goodbye
I checked my roman candle supply
And watched the vapor trail in the sky


But i'm in that place again
And i know he can't come in to get me
And someday he will live to regret me
Susan, i can see it now

Let's assume you were right
And play the game of charm and strange
And satellite
And when we've all had our fun
Deflate the stars
And put away the sun
And so we can call it a day


Cause i'll never prove that my motives were pure
So let's remove any question of cure
Cause even though you've made it pretty obscure
Baby, it's clear, from here--
You're losing your atmosphere
From here, you're losing it


So let's assume it was true
Cause baby can't lift up a hand to swear to you
And what's the use of defense?
The hangers-on are too far gone for evidence
And that one was lost from the first


Cause i'll never prove that my motives were pure
So let's remove any question of cure
Cause even though you've made it pretty obscure
Baby, it's clear, from here--
You're losing your atmosphere
From here, you're losing it


So have it your way
Whatever makes the best resume
Whatever you can throw in
Wash, rinse and spin til it's
Spun away--okay
But i won't be sticking around


Cause i'll never prove that my motives were pure
So let's remove any question of cure
Cause even though you've made it pretty obscure
Baby, it's clear, from here--
You're losing your atmosphere
From here, you're losing it

So maybe i wasn't
That good a friend
But you were one of us
And i will wonder
Just like anyone
If there was something
Else i could've done


So maybe it's true that
Your cry for help
Was oh, so very faint
But still i heard
And knew something was wrong
Just nothing you could put your finger on
And i will wonder
Just like anyone
Just like anyone

There's no charity in you
And that surprises me
I guess i thought you were a golden idol
Cause i called you majesty
On the balustrade
You watched me hunt for tips i was obliged to pick up
From the passing trade


Hey, kids--look at this
It's the fall of the world's own optimist
I could get back up if you insist
But you'll have to ask politely
Cause the eggshells i've been treading
Couldn't spare me a beheading
And i'll know i had it coming
From a caesar who was only slumming
Hey, kids--look at this
It's the fall of the world's own optimist


Well, i could have objections
Which you could override
But what's the point--we're only flogging the horse
When the horseman has up and died
Once i testified
And swore i'd never leave a stone unturned--
I bet you're really glad that i lied


Hey, kids--look at this
It's the fall of the world's own optimist
I could get back up if you insist
But you'll have to ask politely
Cause the eggshells i've been treading
Couldn't spare me a beheading
And i'll know i had it coming
From a caesar who was only slumming
Hey, kids--look at this
It's the fall of the world's own optimist


Hey, kids--look at this
It's the fall of the world's own optimist
I could get back up if you insist
But you'll have to ask politely
Yes, you'll have to ask politely
Yes, you'll have to ask