Well Well Said The Rocking Chair

By dean friedman

Well, i was struttin' by a hootchie bar on jane st.
Trying hard to dodge the doodoo in my path
When i heard footsteps behind me in the same beat
And some joker went and grabbed my ass

I spun around and said, "now, listen, you may be a charmin' fella
But you're just cruisin' for a bruisin' just the same.
And then i hit him on the head with my umbrella,
But instead of saying 'ouch', he just smiled in pain. he said,

"oo, oo, aha. do it again, pretty momma.
First let me thank you for letting me spank you
My credo and my ism is sado-masochism."

I said, "now listen, honey, you must be mistaken,
I mean i'm sure i never saw your face before.
And besides this blushing bride's already taken."
But he got down on his knees and he begged for more. he said,

"oo, oo, aha. do it again, pretty momma.
We'll commit nameless sins. you can stick me with pins.
You can desert me, but not 'til you hurt me."

Now i tell you i have heard my share of snide talk.
But this kid was really acting kinda weird.
And i would have left him kneeling on the sidewalk,
But something in his smile looked so sincere. he said,

"oo, oo, aha. do it again, pretty momma.
We'll buy ice-cream. i'll let you treat me.
We'll play perquacky. i'll let you beat me."

Now, please don't think i'm just a shameless hussy,
But i would love to share the joys that i have found.
And if you're still wondering, "doesn't he or does he?"
Well, i just love to be gagged and bound. you see,

Oo, oo, aha. do it again, pretty momma.
I'll be the baby. you be the mummy.
You can tap dance on my tummy.
'cause me credo and my ism is sado-masochism.
Yes, my credo and my ism is sado-masochism. ah-oo.

By dean friedman


Lydia keeps my toothbrush in her apartment and she never complains.
Well, hardly ever. and then jokingly she says

By dean friedman


Humor me. humor me.
Don't take what i say too seriously.
It's not that i am insincere. i really do mean everything i say.
It's just that every time you're near i get carried away.

Humor me. humor me.
Anytime i get a little silly, please try not to be dismayed. you know it's really not my fault.
Just take everything i say with a grain of salt.

You see, underneath this cynical exterior, there's a child in me waiting for the chance
To prove that all my logic is inferior to romance.

Humor me. humor me.
Don't be frightened by the things you see. sure i know infatuation's all it is,
Just a stage i'm going through.
So don't be overcome by your defenses,
And you can make believe you love me too.
And i'll humor you.

By dean friedman

Don't you ever dare do that again.
Save that kind of nonsense for your friends.
I've got better things to do,
Than feel sorry for the likes of you.

You are not the child you'd like to be.
You can control your destiny
And if i offend your sensibilities,
Well, pardon me.

It's irresponsible. it isn't right. it isn't fair.
I wouldn't give a good goddamn.
It only makes me crazy, it only makes me crazy 'cause i care.

In spite of all the things you've heard,
Adult is not a dirty word.
So say goodbye to all your nancy drews.
You're still a kid. you still can feel.
But everything from this point on is real.

It's irresponsible. it isn't right. it isn't fair.
I wouldn't give a good goddamn.
It only makes me crazy, it only makes me crazy 'cause i care.

By dean friedman


Pick up the sunday news i need my funny papers
Little orphan annie and me have a rendezvous at 3:00
With mary worth and dick tracy.
And my idea of time well spent is to stay in bed with you 'til the rent is due.

Get out a checkered cloth i'll pack a picnic basket.
We'll find a clearing in the wood and you can be red riding hood
You may be bad but you're so good.
And my idea of having fun is laying naked in the sun with you.

Put on your sunday clothes i've had an inspiration.
We'll ride downtown on the "d" and have a window shopping spree
It may be crass but it's free.
And my idea of what to do is making love with you on the avenue.

By dean friedman


If i've managed to learn anything at all from what we've done,
It's that even though it fills the cracks and crevices and mends the tattered souls,
Still we're each other's nemesis, and two halves do not always make a whole.
And though you know i've often heard it said we're made of sterner stuff,
Love is not enough,
Love is not enough.

And all the things i left unsaid, assuming that you knew,
As if there were no question you could read my mind;
And all the times i shut you out and left you hanging- me deaf, dumb and blind;
And though i know we vowed to stick it out through the easy and the rough,
Love is not enough,
Love is not enough.

And all the stupid games we played to save out tarnished prides,
As if it really mattered which of us was wrong or right;
And even as we stood and watched it fall apart,
I loved you with all my might.
And thought the heroes in the paperbacks always wind up in the buff,
Love is not enough,
Love is not enough.

By dean friedman

What are you crazy? how in the hell can you say what you just said?
I was talking to myself. shut the door and come to bed.
By the way, i forgot to say, your endearing mother called today.
Did you see lisa?
Yes i saw lisa.
Is that why angry?
I wasn't angry.
Maybe a little.
Not even maybe.
Must be the weather.
Now don't be a baby.
We'll how am i supposed to feel with all the things you don't reveal and you can thank your lucky stars that we're not as smart as we'd like to think we are.

Would you like to talk about it?
There's not much to say.
We had lunch this afternoon. her life's in disarray.
She still goes around as if she is always stumbling off a cliff.
Do you still want her?
What are you saying?
Do you still want her?
Baby stop playing.
Really, i mean it. can you forget her?
Baby, now stop it. you should know better.
I know this is hard to do. but, there's no one for me but you and

You can thank your lucky stars that we're not as smart as we'd like to think we are.

Baby, i'm sorry, i was wrong, i have no alibis.
I was acting like a fool and i apologize.
Listen, hon', i know you're dumb, but that's o.k., you don't have to look so glum.
Do you still love me?
Yes, i still love you.
You mean, you're not just being nice.
No, i'm not just being nice.
Do you feel sleepy.
Aw, you're so sincere. yes, i feel sleepy.
Well, slide over here. 'cause i may not be all that bright, but i know how to hold you tight and,

You can thank your lucky stars that we're not as smart as we'd like to think we are and
You can thank your lucky stars that we're not as smart as we'd like to think we are and
We can thank our lucky stars that we're not as smart as we'd like to think we are.

By dean friedman

In the hollow of your arms, snuggled up all safe and warn,
You used to tell me tales of unicorns and kings.
But how could i comprehend all the things you told me then
Of your madness and your struggling?

And my mind would swim in fantasies, like a piece of driftwood in the sea.
I had no touchstone for reality. you were my reality.

Like a dark and unlit room or the far side of the moon,
Your insanity spoke emptiness and fear.
And no matter how i tried, how i questioned and i pried,
I just could not penetrate that thin veneer.

And i know you tried to comfort me, to soothe and reassure me.
But then your strength would always fail and in it's place a silken veil.

Like a dried and wrinkled prune, a deflated toy balloon,
I cam home and found you strewn across the floor.
And as they lay you on your bed i heard you say,
"if i a dead, how come it just keeps on hurting more and more?"

And you left me in the early spring. all they said was, "mommy's resting."
And how was i to know, so young, it wasn't something i had done?

So please try and understand, i will love you as i can.
I do not blame you; you're not guilty.
But still there's no way to describe the relief i finally found
Upon learning it was you, and not me, that was crazy.

By dean friedman


"well, well," said the rocking chair.
"it's been a while since i've seen such stark despair."
"who told you like was fair?"
"woa, woa," said the radio, "sit, there are some things you ought to know"
"there is little you can do to stop the pain and it's gonna happen time and time again,
But just remember even though it sounds insane,
It's impossible to ever love somebody in vain."

All right. it's gonna be all right. it's gonna be all right. it's gonna be all right.

"no, no," said the balcony, "if it's pity you want don't come to me."
"no, nothing comes for free."
"yes, yes," said the coffee cup, "maybe now is the time to act grown up."
"if you feel like your world is crashing in, simply dial up your nearest kith or kin."
"if you open up and let them in,
You'll discover that you'll probably make it through once again."

All right. it's gonna be all right. it's gonna be all right. it's gonna be all right.

"hey, hey," said the table top, "don't be making like you're anything you're not."
"make do with what you've got".
"don't forget," said the cuckoo clock, "any parts you need we've got in stock."
"take a look at the place you call your home. you're reflected in all the things you own. and the seeds of reason you have sown,
They're a measure of a part of you that's already grown."

All right. it's gonna be all right. it's gonna be all right. it's gonna be all right.

By dean friedman

Four in the morning. (what'll you have?) well, i'm in the mood for a corned beef on rye.
With a tomato and some coleslaw on the side.
I'm really glad that you tripped on the curb or we might've never met.
It was a sight, you look all perturbed, helpless and sopping wet.

How do you feel?
I'm fine.
I'm not quite sure what you did.
(uh, who gets the iced tea?) over here please. what do you mean?
It's very strange. being with you makes me feel like a kid.
How did you like the movie we saw?
The plot was kind of thin.
I'm so confused. there's so much to ask. i don't know where to begin.

I know we only met today. there's so much i want to