The Honesty Room

Words and music by Dar Williams

Once upon a time there was a nuclear family,
And we lived in a family time,
And we'd unite in a family way.
And off the ancient mountain,
They were splitting every nucleus.
They said 'don't be alarmed,
Just don't try this at home.'
And they were the mystery that made the world run
And we had the power, 'cause they were the sun
And we called them our heroes, and the future had come.
They said,'look at the light we're giving you,
And the darkness we're saving you from.'

Soon they were bringing it into our showroom,
And they'd unveil it with it's title,
Bring your family, bring your family,
It's the Great Unknown.
You can look, but you can't fathom,
It's the Great Unknown.

I'm no ordinary princess, I was born in the cold war,
And my team is the Rockets.
Go team, it's a dangerous time.
And I dream of the moon and building lunar clone colonies.
And I build my peace with strength, that's the best weapon you've
got.
Oh, I am the brainchild, I am the mortar,
With a plastic trophy and an eating disorder,
And vision as big as a great big wall,
And they tell me that I'll move forward for the good of us all,
And the good of nuclear families all.

And they think I think I am important.
I know I never was, no I wasn't.
No I never, and how could I be?
It's the Great Unknown.
Now we've built it, now it's ticking,
It's the Great Unknown.

And I am your children, I am millions.
And I wanted to sell out, I wanted to try,
But you know the sky got too low, and the ocean got too high.
And I tried to take God into my own hands.
Am I too late? Is it over?
Have I sacrificed my family to the Great Unknown?
There's a war between my conscience and the Great Unknown.

So I walked out into the Gamma fields
Out in Mercury, Nevada.
Where I stood in circle and that circle started to pray.
And the wind at the nuclear test sights floats the data at the radiation.
From the underground testing,
Cross the line, you'll get arrested.
And we came from all over in a silent appeal
As the drill comes down like a presidential seal.
And we stand for the living, and we stand for the dead,
And we looked out to see your enemies,
And we see that you're looking all at us instead.

And you think I am being disruptive?
But no I'm running home, I'm running,
'Cause I'm trying to put the atom back together.
It's the Great Unknown.
I'm just trying to put the atom back together.
It's the Great Unknown.

Words and music by Dar Williams

I won't forget when Peter Pan came to my house, took my hand
I said I was a boy; I'm glad he didn't check.

I learned to fly, I learned to fight
I lived a whole life in one night
We saved each other's lives out on the pirate's deck.
And I remember that night
when I'm leaving a late night with some friends
And I hear somebody tell me it's not safe, someone should help me
I need to find a nice man to walk me home.
When I was a boy, I scared the pants off of my mom,
climbed what I could climb upon
And I don't know how I survived,
I guess I knew the tricks that all boys knew.
And you can walk me home, but I was a boy, too.

Words and music by Dar Williams

The blue it speaks so full
It's like the beauty one can barely stand
Or too much things dropped in your hand
And there's a green like the peace
In your heart sometimes
Printed underneath the sheets of ashy snow
And there's a blue like where the urban angels go, very bright
Now the Caldor mobile tips a biomorphic sphere
Then it swings its dangling pieces
round to other paintings here

Your behavior is so male
It's like you can't explain yourself to me
I think I'll ask Renoir to tea
For his flowers are as real as they are all the time
And the sunlight sets the furniture aglow
It's a pleasant time as far as people go, how far do they go?
Well his roses are perfect and his words have no wings
I know what he can give me and I like to know these things

I met her at the funeral
She said I don't know what he meant to me
I just know he affected me
An effect not unlike his art,
I believe

The service starts and we are in the know
He had so much to say but more to show, and ain't that true of life?
So we weep for a person who lived at great cost
Yet we barely knew his powers till we sensed that we had lost

A friend and I in a museum room
She says, 'Look at Mark Rothko's side
Did you know about his suicide?
Some folks were born with a foot in the grave, but not me, of course'
And she smiles as if to say we're in the know
Then she names a coffee place where we can go, uptown
Now the painting is desperate, but the crowds wash away
In a crowd of kind pedestrians who've seen enough today

Words and music by Dar Williams


Why is it that as we grow older and stronger
The road signs point us adrift and make us afraid
Saying 'You never can win,' 'Watch your back,' 'Where's your
husband?'
Oh I don't like the signs that the signmakers made.

So I'm going to steal out with my paint and brushes
I'll change the directions, I'll hit every street
It's the Tinseltown scandal, the Robin Hood vandal
She goes out and steals the King's English
And in the morning you wake up and the signs point to you

They say
'I'm so glad that you finally made it here,'
'You thought nobody cared, but I did, I could tell,'
And 'This is your year,' and 'It always starts here,'
And oh-oh oh-oh-oh oh-oh, 'You're aging well.'

Well I know a woman with a collection of sticks
She could fight back the hundreds of voices she heard
And she could poke at the greed, she could fend off her need
And with anger she found she could pound every word.
But one voice got through, caught her up by surprise
It said, 'Don't hold us back we're the story you tell,'
And no sooner than spoken, a spell had been broken
And the voices before her were trumpets and tympani
Violins, basses and woodwinds and cellos, singing

'We're so glad that you finally made it here
You thought nobody cared, but we did, we could tell
And now you'll dance through the days while the orchestra plays
And oh-oh oh-oh-oh oh-oh, you're aging well.'


Now when I was fifteen, oh I knew it was over
The road to enchantment was not mine to take
Cause lower calf, upper arm should be half what they are
I was breaking the laws that the signmakers made.

And all I could eat was the poisonous apple
And that's not a story I was meant to survive
I was all out of choices, but the woman of voices

She turned round the corner with music around her,
She gave me the language that keeps me alive, she said:

'I'm so glad that you finally made it here
With the things you know now, that only time could tell
Looking back, seeing far, landing right where we are
And oh-oh oh-oh-oh oh-oh, you're aging, oh oh-oh-oh oh-oh and I am aging,
oh oh-oh-oh oh-oh, aren't we aging well?'

Words and music by Dar Williams

Are we the fools for being suprised that a silence could end with no sound
Like the silent movie era like with snow like when Sal's burned
down
Well yeah there was noise but nothing to mark the passing on
Of that great unspoken chance we had found
Where the night's end came well-trod and familiar
Like the Charlie Chapin walk that fades to black
And there wasn't anyone trying to sell their souls
They were only trying to buy them back
They were only trying to buy them back

Well yeah there was a Sal he walked with bulging pockets round town
Either he was up to no good or he just got excited watching things burn down
Well I guess he got the idea if you hold a chunk of gold in your hand now
For once in your life you can throw some weight around
And Sal you slimeball sell-out how can we blame you
We all want something to put our fingers on
And you never know the true throne that you've lost
Till the vinyl barstools are gone
Till the vinyl barstools are gone

If you toss around some words you might say that
Sal was carrying a torch for the mob
But the mob's gone too yeah the only sign of them left
Is on every screen at the multiplex and we go there no prob hey
Cause there ain't no cowboys in this Connecticut town
No not anymore, no, not since Sal's burned down
Once you'd dip your tin cup down in the muse's watering hole
Or pioneer a new patch of common ground
Then you'd lie on your time-traveled bedroll
Quite amazed at the expansive terrain*
And if anyone said that you'd never have fame and fortune just
that bar
You know you'd ride that way again
I bet you'd ride that way again

I heard love can fall so hard, it can bury a kingdom
I heard it makes the spring appear out of season
It's a storm in a shadowbox, a force to be reckoned with,
When it finds you and find you, it will.

And I'd not believed it til I loved, I love
The rivers sing and stars awaken above me
And the wind and the moon in fits of restless conspiring
Turn night to heaven for you.

But I am going to a far, far land
I know it sure as I've a past and a future
With my maps on the table, you see, I have lost many things
So many I won't turn back.

And were I a deadwood ship, my heart a compass
I would leave with inanimate grace, no love could touch me
But I live and I know that I'll burn as I grow
Though it might break my heart to walk away and so

As a moon may adore you and remain, high moon
The wind may crown your head with leaves, and keep blowing
So I'll stop and I'll watch you, for I love, I love
And then be on my way. And then be on my way.