1. _ Sp lit
Late night comes are you home?
No you're not
You're out with urge to satisfy yourself
it's your vicious plot
Looking back I realize that it's my fault
I'm not around so your love comes to a halt
You have no remorse in you
It's the only thing you know
You destroy me every time you little cunt
I never wanted this
Gave myself to you to get paid back with lies
Every time I trust you I lose in the end
I feel disgust in myself
I love how you can call me and pretend you're innocent
While I'm out here trying to better myself
You're a pig when it comes to my emotions
You drown me in your wake because you have no devotion
You have no remorse in you
It's the only thing you know
You destroy me every time you little cunt
I never wanted this
Gave myself to you to get paid back with lies
Every time I trust you I lose in the end
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2. _ Forced Life
Images still in my head of you dead
I wish I could take them away instead
I sit in my room alone and cry over my loss
Will anything ever be the same?
I wish I could imagine you happy
A life of ecstasy that would be good enough to stop the pain that lingers
In my heart I know I would be content
It's your forced life...It's your forced life...doesn't it feel the same to you?
I sit and wonder
While you ponder of pathetic items that bring you happiness
Those things that put a smile to your face
Are the things that kill me inside
I know deep down you have a good heart
But why am I never included in all of this?
I take you in...rise you up, yet my soul stays untouched?
Nothing ever changes in your mind
Nothing ever changes
Stick your hate to me
I'll find a way to break free
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3. _ Jade
Face black another shadow of innocence tainted
Gave back all the lights and glitter
Wrong track again and again is stings
Wish you all could feel like this
12 is for the reason of regret
9 is for the pain that I'm caused
Will strife ever cease? Someday...
Fuck this mind that is made to hate
Complete the task of humility
Restrained from who they want me to be
That's what they want me to be
That is not quite good enough for me
Fuck you and your thoughts on me
Fuck you and your thoughts of me
Fuck you how can I not be me
Fuck you I will never let you take me
I will never be that good little one
I can never see what is so good about life
I can never change just who I am,
just what it is I think I am doing
My hands fell down now I know I failed
You were not there to pick up the waste of this pathetic tale
Maybe I should just end all this right here
Would you like that?
Maybe you could cope knowing that you all have succeeded
I am staying here to betray all of you
Never failing me again
Cut a little...it bleeds slowly can you see it ooze?
I'm going to save me
My eyes turn the color jade
I look at everyone around me
I am so sick of this place
Anyone and anything makes me sick
I just want to end it all
I return to my room walls white with black shades
Oh how would red look?
The reasons are not for your ears
The feelings are not for your heart
I circle in tears wishing, hoping, dreaming
Can I find a way out besides this?
I need it
I want to be where you are
I miss you
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4. _ Let Go
My scabs are almost picked
Slowly growing into this
Feelings I just can't let go
I am such a bore that you need that much more
Go back that way and see what you get from me then
Nothing at all
My dead hands rise
Why am I this way?
Face my past I can't let go
I see them in the jel
Laughing at me it is hell
Nothing can stop this torture
Fake my way through life
Call on me my wife
Went back that way and I saw just what I was worth
Nothing at all
My dead hands rise
Why am I this way?
Face my past I can't let go
I won't take no for an answer.
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5. _ Dead Inside
I felt so alone
You left feeling so empty and needing
Can't see the glitter in you
You called me all the time
Hiding behind your lies materialistic
Go away
You don't know what it's like to be dead inside
You called him a friend to help you get through it
I see your true face now
Well my tears are gone, I am happy now
Thanks for making it clear
Go away
You don't know what it's like to be dead inside
I am dead to you
You take my heart and used it as a tool
I wish that this would just go away
You can't find love you can't cry tears
And you won't be crying alone
Who are you today...another face erased .
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6. _ Lumps
I feel as if I have been dreaming
I am confused as to how I got here
One minute
I am heading down a path of destruction with no hopes but for death
Then there was you
You opened me to a different light
The path you lead me down was priceless
With one quick glance it was stripped from me
I was so ashamed I never let you be you
I have been puking with regret
I found myself again
And although we were apart
I managed to move on
Something was still missing
I made me sick
Far to familiar
I needed you once again, maybe now I can change
Maybe now I can secure my lumps
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7. _ Severed
Stay awake to decide
Are you coming back?
Is this my sanity?
I can't forgive
Oh is it the same to me?
I can't take your place
I'll never see you, never flee from me
Severed
Lost lies in the house I bring
I can't fucking see
I can never pull your self from me
I can't focus
Libertine my "said to be"
I will never save you
Wait...today is not the same
Severed
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8. _ Rizzo
Pull up your car you're home from the night on the town
Could not find anyone to go home with to show off your insecurity
So you put your "I love you face" back on
When you are this way you think you are God
But the people around you are destroyed
Coming home getting off by killing who you love
I hope you end up in a body bag
Walk up to your room to be with your lover
Although they don't share your desire
That night frustrated and intoxicated
You need to leech onto another
When you are this way you think you are God
But the people around you are destroyed
Coming home getting off by killing who you love
I hope you end up in a body bag
Pretend you are the king
One day this will all come back to you
One day your child will be a man
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9. _ Sphere
Crawling back up from the floor now
I look above me and there you are
I see your smiling face so pure, its gold
Reaching your hand out to touch mine
Perhaps all I needed was your smile
A nice compliment or two
Where were you a few weeks ago?
When I was wanting to die
I felt so worthless
But you saved me
Watching me almost fall under
You were with him I was with her
Wanting each other more then life
A kiss away from being perfect
Cry out you're watching over me and I can't be with you
All I wanted was to end me, now to be in love with two
I hate my thoughts now
I'll leave her alone to live in bliss
Your my savior, my dream come true
Why
Trying to figure out a way
I'll lick your wounds, I'll heal your sores
I can never face my past
Not together I felt so sick inside
Death will come very soon
I tear as we drift away
Picture me dead would you cry
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10. _ Taste My...
Fall into my hole
I keep seeking
Is there anything left to consume now?
I wish I were happy living in
Living in your perfect world
You were never understanding enough
You were never supportive of me
Now I run away from you
Now I hide all this pain
Can you taste my tears on you?
Now where do I see myself?
Stagnation from my own selfish thoughts
Should I work to achieve my goals or should I work to leave you be or
should I work to keep you home?
You were never understanding enough
You were never supportive of me
Now I run away from you
Now I hide all this pain
Can you taste my tears on you?
May guns rise to kill me
Vice Grip
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11. _ Options
A slave to my thoughts daily
I finally lost my craving
Need this to end real soon
You come then you go away
No way I can make it through this
Can you feel my heart fade away?
Do you remember what it was like when you told me no?
Feeling I can't figure me out
I'd try but I'm not allowed
Where do I go from here now?
My friends can't explain this to me
When I see you I don't see me
I feel I'll never gain
Your affection is a must to me
But reflections of past life won't let me be
Right now all hope is lost
Do you remember what it was like when you told me no?
Feeling I can't figure me out
I'd try but I'm not allowed
Where do I go from here now?
Save some for me
There's still blood for nine
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12. _ Pass Out of Existence
Oh I'm that sick I see it that way
I'd rather be dead then have you stay
You pretend that it's OK
Right now it's my time to take
Feeding off my hate today
Feeding off the lives I waste
Now it's time to change my ways
Now it's time to erase my name
Can't see my face
You can't see my face now
Pass out of existence
Gone
Disgusted by your presence now
I wonder what it would be like if you were down
Could you cope? Could you really cope?
Could you hope? Or would you sit and wait for me?
Seeking for my placement now
Seeking for my placement now
Now it's time to change my ways
Now it's time to erase my name
Can't see my face
You can't see my face now
Pass out of existence
When I close my eyes
I see myself dead
I know you want it this way don't you?
When I close my eyes
I see myself
Dead...gone now
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13. _ Painting The White To Grey
Face I am nothing face
Complete by sarcastic tastes
What a waste I think I'd rather die
Wanting never gaining I find myself pondering life
Always situations I can never hide
Crying tears of anger, hate
Depressed I never know the me, never know what to do
Slit pour out the life a bottle of the "vive"
A desperate cry for something else to justify
I'm in a daze caused by pain
A failing force that wants to change
Painting the white to grey
Numb body shivering
Blood dripping from the skin
Painting the white to grey
Plastic always drastic
A vision of a psychopathic with a razor crawling through the attic
I know somewhere out there someone cares
Wanting me to get my head out of the clouds as they think it's time repair
These scars will never clear
I'll never be the same little one with hopes of one day maybe being sane
I might have tried before...but I locked the door
Now I need a reason to unlock it
I'm in a daze caused by pain
A failing force that wants to change
Painting the white to grey
Numb body shivering
Blood dripping from the skin
Painting the white to grey
Cutting and popping
I know I'm not the definition of your model I'm always dropping
Lying and crying
I rarely find the relevance in always competing or trying...
I take dying
I need to feel the shame in what it was that I did
Cold
In the back of a puppeteer bathroom floor is where I tried to die
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