12. _ Auntie Maggie's Remedy
Now theres all sorts of medicines that you can buy
No matter what ailment youve got
But I know a special one you ought to try
Youll find its the best of the lot
Its my Auntie Maggies home made remedy, its guaranteed never to fail
Thats the stuff that will do the trick
Its sold at every chemist for "one and a kick".
Now if youve got lumbago, rheumatics or gout, or a pain in your Robert E. Lee
Dont kick up a shindy, youll never get windy with Auntie Maggies Remedy
If you set your alarm clock for eight in the morning
Youre bound to wake up Ill agree
But Ill bet you by heaven, youll wake up at seven
With my Auntie Maggies Remedy
In a young ladys bedroom I went by mistake
My intentions were honest you see
She shouted with laughter, "I know what youre after
Its my Auntie Maggies Remedy."
Oh my Auntie Maggies home made remedy, its guaranteed never to fail
Thats the stuff that will do the trick
Its sold at every chemist for "one and a kick".
Now if youve got lumbago, rheumatics or gout, or a pain in your Robert E. Lee
Dont kick up a shindy, youll never get windy with Auntie Maggies Remedy
Now when the baby starts crying, theres always a reason
And if you inspect him youll see,
The poor little chappy has covered his nappy
With Auntie Maggies Remedy
Now I went to a doctor, I wasnt too well
And he made me lie on a settee
He said "Theres trouble brewing, youve been overdoing
Your Auntie Maggies Remedy."
Now I know a girl who was putting on weight,
In a spot where it just shouldnt be
So I said to Nellie, "Now you rub your ankle, with Auntie Maggies Remedy."
Additional Verse
Now one day at the races, the hors that I backed
Could have won it was easy to see
But the trai Now theres all sorts of medicines that you can buy
No matter what ailment youve got
But I know a special one you ought to try
Youll find its the best of the lot
Its my Auntie Maggies home made remedy, its guaranteed never to fail
Thats the stuff that will do the trick
Its sold at every chemist for "one and a kick".
Now if youve got lumbago, rheumatics or gout, or a pain in your Robert E. Lee
Dont kick up a shindy, youll never get windy with Auntie Maggies Remedy
If you set your alarm clock for eight in the morning
Youre bound to wake up Ill agree
But Ill bet you by heaven, youll wake up at seven
With my Auntie Maggies Remedy
In a young ladys bedroom I went by mistake
My intentions were honest you see
She shouted with laughter, "I know what youre after
Its my Auntie Maggies Remedy."
Oh my Auntie Maggies home made remedy, its guaranteed never to fail
Thats the stuff that will do the trick
Its sold at every chemist for "one and a kick".
Now if youve got lumbago, rheumatics or gout, or a pain in your Robert E. Lee
Dont kick up a shindy, youll never get windy with Auntie Maggies Remedy
Now when the baby starts crying, theres always a reason
And if you inspect him youll see,
The poor little chappy has covered his nappy
With Auntie Maggies Remedy
Now I went to a doctor, I wasnt too well
And he made me lie on a settee
He said "Theres trouble brewing, youve been overdoing
Your Auntie Maggies Remedy."
Now I know a girl who was putting on weight,
In a spot where it just shouldnt be
So I said to Nellie, "Now you rub your ankle, with Auntie Maggies Remedy."
Additional Verse
Now one day at the races, the hors that I backed
Could have won it was easy to see
But the trai
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15. _ When I'm Cleaning Windows
Now I go cleanin' windows to earn an honest bob
For a nosy parker it's an interestin' job
Now it's a job that just suits me
A window cleaner you would be
If you can see what I can see
When I'm cleanin' windows
Honeymoonin' couples too
You should see them bill 'n coo
You'd be surprised at things they do
When I'm cleanin' windows
In my profession I'll work hard
But I'll never stop
I'll climb this blinkin' ladder
Till I get right to the top
The blushin' bride, she looks divine
The bridegroom he is doin' fine
I'd rather have his job than mine
When I'm cleanin' windows
The chambermaids' sweet names I call
It's a wonder I don't fall
My mind's not on my work at all
When I'm cleanin' windows
I know a fella, such a swell
He has a thirst, that's plain to tell
I've seen him drink his bath as well
When I'm cleanin' windows
Oh, in my profession I'll work hard
But I'll never stop
I'll climb this blinkin' ladder
Till I get right to the top
Pyjamas lyin' side by side
Ladies nighties I have spied
I've often seen what goes inside
When I'm cleanin' windows
------ banjo ------
Now there's a famous talkie queen
She looks a flapper on the screen
She's more like eightie than eighteen
When I'm cleanin' windows
She pulls her hair all down behind
Then pulls down her... never mind
And after that pulls down the blind
When I'm cleanin' windows
In my profession I'll work hard
But I'll never stop
I'll climb this blinkin' ladder
Till I get right to the top
An old maid walks around the floor
She's so fed up, one day I'm sure
She'll drag me in and lock the door
When I'm cleanin' windows
When I'm cleanin' windows
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