Rare and Unseen

This one's for Julie, who we love
I love her almost as I do Alma
But we don't do Alma no more
It's called â??England's Glory'. if you want to sing
Please sing

There are jewels in the crown of England's glory
And every jewel shines a thousand ways

Frankie Howerd, Noël Coward and garden gnomes
Frankie Vaughan, Kenneth Horne, Sherlock Holmes
Monty, Biggles and Old King Cole
In the pink or on the dole
Oliver Twist and Long John Silver
Captain Cook and Nelly Dean
Enid Blyton, Gilbert Harding
Malcolm Sargent, Graham Greene (Graham Greene)

All the jewels in the crown of England's glory
Too numerous to mention, but a few
And every one could tell a different story
And show old England's glory something new

Nice bit of kipper and Jack the Ripper and Upton Park
Gracie, Cilla, Maxy Miller, Petula Clark
Winkles, Woodbines, Walnut Whips
Vera Lynn and Stafford Cripps
Lady Chatterley, Muffin the Mule
Winston Churchill, Robin Hood
Beatrix Potter, Baden-Powell
Beecham's powders, Yorkshire pud (Yorkshire pud)

With Billy Bunter, Jane Austen
Reg Hampton, George Formby
Billy Fury, Little Titch
Uncle Mac, Mr. Pastry and all
Uncle mac, Mr. Patry and all

Alright England?
G'wan England
Oh England

All the jewels in the crown of England's glory
Too numerous to mention, but a few
And every one could tell a different story
And show old England's glory something new

Somerset Maugham, Top Of The Form with the Boys' Brigade
Mortimer Wheeler, Christine Keeler and the Board of Trade
Henry Cooper, wakey wakey, England's labor
Standard Vanguard, spotted dick, England's workers
England's glory

Blue Gene baby
Skinny white sailor,
The chances were slender
The beauties were brief
Shall I mourn your decline
With some Thunderbird wine
And a black handkerchief?
I miss your sad Virginia whisper
I miss the voice that called my heart

Sweet Gene Vincent
Young and old and gone
Sweet Gene Vincent

Who, who, who slapped John?
White face, black shirt
White socks, black shoes
Black hair, white Strat
Bled white, died black

Sweet Gene Vincent
Let the blue roll tonight
At the sock hop ball in the Union Hall
Where the bop is their delight

Here come duck-tailed Danny
Dragging Uncanny Annie
She's the one with the flying feet
You can break the peace
Daddy sickle grease
The beat is reet complete
And you jump back, honey
In the dungerees
Tight sweater and a pony tail
Will you guess her age
When she comes back stage?
The hoodlums bite their nails

Black gloves, white frost
Black crepe, white lead
White sheet, black knight
Jet black, dead white

Sweet Gene Vincent
There's one in every town
And the devil drives
Till the hearse arrives
And you lay that pistol down

Sweet Gene Vincent
There's nowhere left to hide
With lazy skin and ash tray eyes
A perforated pride

So farewell mademoiselle,
Knickerbocker Hotel
Farewell to money owed
But when your leg still hurts
And you need more shirts
You got to get back on the road

You must have seen parties of Blockheads
With blotched and lagered skin
Blockheads with food particles in their teeth
What a horrible state they're in

They've got womanly breasts
Under pale mauve vests
Shoes like dead pigs' noses
Cornflake packet jacket,
Catalogue trousers
A mouth what never closes

You must have seen Blockheads
In raucous teams
Dressed up after work
Who screw their poor old Eileens
Get sloshed and go berserk

Rotary accessory watches
Hire-purchase signet rings
A beauty to the bully boys
No lonely vestige clings

Why bother at all about Blockheads?
Why shouldn't they do as they please?
You know if it came to a brainy game
You could baffle a Blockhead with ease

How would you like one puffing
And blowing in your ear hole?
Or pissing in your swimming pool?

Bigger brained Blockheads often acquire
Black and orange cars
Premature ejaculation drivers
Their soft-top's got roll bars

'Fill her up,' they say to Blockheads
'Go on, stick it where it hurts'
Their shapeless haircuts don't enhance
Their ghastly patterned shirts

Why bother at all about Blockheads?
Superior as you are
You're thoughtful and kind
With a well-stocked mind
A Blockhead can't think very far

Imagine finding one in your laundry basket
Banging nails in your big black dog

Why bother at all about Blockheads?
Why should you care what they do?
'Cause after all is said and done
You're a Blockhead too

Blockheads
Blockheads
Blockheads
(Oi oi)
Blockheads
(Oi, oi)