Alpocalypse

You're sort of famous
A minor celebrity
And so it only makes sense
The world would be
Obsessed with every
Single thing you do

They're running 'round
With their camcorders in the night
They're lurking patiently
And hoping that they just might
See something real embarrassing
You do

The bad hair day and sweat-stained t-shirts
That's the story that
They are gonna feature
With exclusive pics
Of your flabby behind
You think you're all alone
But that's right when you'll find

A bunch of paparazzi
Popping out of nowhere
Cameras in your face
And then suddenly
You're on TMZ
You're on TMZ

Following you
When you're walking down the street
And asking stupid questions
While you're trying to eat
So you cover your face
Thinking to yourself
"Hey, isn't this creepy?"

And they're out there praying
You'll have a big meltdown
And take them on a little car chase
Through this whole town
They'll be there with you
When you're going to jail
First on the scene
For every wardrobe fail

You just picked up some transvestite
Seconds later
It's up on the website
Get a Vegas wedding
A quickie divorce
And they'll be
Sneaking in
Snapping pictures, of course

And if they ever catch you
Picking your nose
Or storming down the street
On a drunken spree
You're on TMZ

Stalking you
Just waiting by a front door
Trailing you through
Airport security
They were TMZ
They were TMZ

We caught this Oscar nominee picking up dog poop
Is that a baby bump?
I pronounce you guilty, of leaving the house while fat
Look who's drinking coffee
Everything celebrities do is fascinating

Oh, let me tell you
It's getting to the point
Where a famous person can't
Even get a D.U.I
Or go on a racist rant
Those guys are all around
So you really shouldn't dare
Go to every club in town
If you've lost your underwear

Seems that every single time
A star decides to shave their head
Or ram their car into a tree
They're on TMZ

If they catch you peeing in the bushes
Later on, that night
Well, I guarantee
You're on TMZ
You're on TMZ

You're on TMZ
Every single celebrity
Knows they're gonna be
There on TMZ

I moved out to Langley recently
With a plain and simple dream
Wanna infiltrate some third-world place
And topple their regime

Those men in black with their matching suitcases
Where everything's on a need-to-know basis
Agents got that swagger
Everyone so cloak and dagger

I'm feelin' nervous but I'm really kinda wishing
For an undercover mission

That's when the red alert came on the radio
And I put my earpiece on
Got my dark sunglasses on
And I had my weapon drawn

So I get my handcuffs
My cyanide pills
My classified dossier

Tappin' the phones like yeah
Shreddin' the files like yeah
And then I rised all the enemy spies
I've got to neutralize today

Yeee-aaa-hhh, it's a party in the CIA
Yeee-aaa-hhh, it's a party in the CIA

I've done a couple of crazy things
That have almost gotten me dismissed
Like terminate some head of state
Who wasn't even on my list

Burn that microfilm buddy, will you
I'd tell you why but then I'd have to kill you
You need a quickie confession?
Well, start a water boarding session

No hurry on the south American dictator
I'll assassinate him later
That's when he walked right in my laser sights
And my silencer was on and my silencer was on
And another target's gone

Yeah, we've got our black ops all over the world
From Kazakhstan to Bombay
Payin' the bribes like yeah
Pluggin' the leaks like yeah
Interrogating the scum of the earth
We'll break them by the break of day!

Yeee-aaa-hhh, it's a party in the CIA
Yeee-aaa-hhh, it's a party in the CIA

Need a country to stabilize? (stabilize)
Look no further, we're your guys (we're your guys)
We've got snazzy suits and ties (suits and ties)
And a better dental plan than the FBI's

Better put your hands up and get in the van
Or else you'll get blown away
Stagin' a coup like yeah
Brainwashin' moles like yeah,
We only torture the folks we don't like
You're probably going to be OK

Yeee-aaa-hhh, it's a party in the CIA
Yeee-aaa-hhh, it's a party in the CIA

Beautiful tats
All over my back
Makes me so proud
I'm gonna shout it out loud
I got another tattoo baby
Yeah another tattoo baby
(A-noth-noth-nother tattoo)
(Noth noth nother tattoo)

No part of me is blank I'm really ink obsessed
It's like an art show the moment that I get undressed
At every job interview they're just so impressed
'Cause I got all my ex-wives' names on my chest
Over here is Clay Aiken, there's a side of bacon
And I'm in a torpedo fighting with Satan
Next to hello kitty and a zombie ice skating and wait
It's Ronald Reagan

I got these dragons, I got these dolphins
All inscribed on me indelibly
I've had bad reactions, bad infections
Even Hepatitis C
My friends think that I need therapy
Maybe some laser surgery
For the flaming goat skull on my knee
Knee (knee) knee (knee) knee, hey

Beautiful tats (yeah) all over my back (all over)
And I've got some space here on the side of my face here
For another tattoo baby
(A-noth-noth-nother tattoo babe no-nother tattoo)
Another tattoo baby
(A-noth-noth-nother tattoo babe no-nother tattoo)

No I'm not high (high)
I'm really OK (OK)
I just love these scribbles (ha ha) that won't go away
I got another tattoo baby
(A-noth-noth-nother tattoo babe no-nother tattoo)
Another tattoo baby
(A-noth-noth-nother tattoo babe no-nother tattoo)

Yeah
Yes there were a few
I got from a losing a bet
I misspelled a word or two
Still there's nothing I regret
My shopping trips are no sweat
There's never stuff I forget
Check out this rad Boba Fett
He's playing clarinet

Beautiful tats (yeah) all over my back (all over)
And what the heck (ha ha)
There's still room on my neck
I'll get another tattoo baby
(A-noth-noth-nother tattoo babe no-nother tattoo)
Another tattoo baby
(A-noth-noth-nother tattoo babe no-nother tattoo)

I don't know why (why)
But every day (day)
Whenever folks see me
They just back away
I got another tattoo
(A-noth-noth-nother tattoo babe no-nother tattoo)
Another tattoo baby
(A-noth-noth-nother tattoo babe no-nother tattoo)
Yeah

D'ow
Deh, OK right there by my elbow, you see?
Yeah I got a couple of square inches left
Maybe a squid or a tarantula or something
I dunno surprise me
D'ow

Mum mum mum mah
Mum mum mum muh
Oh whoa oh oh oh

Can't read my, can't read my
No, he can't read-a my polka face
(She's got to love nobody)
Can't read my, can't read my
No he can't read-a my polka face
(She's got to love nobody)
P-p-p-polka face p-p-polka face (Mum mum mum muh)
P-p-p-polka face p-p-polka face, hey

Womanizer, woman-womanizer, you're a womanizer
Oh, womanizer, oh, you're a womanizer baby
You, you, you are
You, you, you are
Womanizer, womanizer, womanizer
(Womanizer)

Boy don't try to front
I,I know just what you are (are are)
Boy don't try to front
I,I know just what you are (are are)

You say I'm crazy
I got your crazy
You're nothing but a
Womanizer

You spin my head right round, right round
When you go down, when you go down down
You spin my head right round, right round
When you go down, when you go down

Day and night
The lonely stoner seems to free his mind at night
He's all alone through the day and night
The lonely loner seems to free his mind at night
At, at, at night

It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now
Said I wouldn't call but I've lost all control and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now

And I was like baby baby baby
Baby baby baby
Baby baby baby
I thought you'd always be mine

So, so what, I'm still a rock star
I got my rock moves and I don't need you
And guess what, I'm havin' more fun
And now that we're done, I'm gonna show you tonight
I'm alright, I'm just fine and you're a tool
So, so what, I am a rock star
I got my rock moves and I don't want you tonight

I kissed a girl and I liked it,
The taste of her cherry chapstick
I kissed a girl just to try it,
I hope my boyfriend don't mind it
It felt so wrong, it felt so right,
Don't mean I'm in love tonight
I kissed a girl and I liked it, I liked it

And I'd like to make myself believe
That planet earth turns slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay
Awake when I'm asleep
'Cause everything is never as it seems

Blame it on the goose, gotcha feeling loose
Blame it on the 'tron, catch me in the zone
Blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol
Blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol
Blame it on the vodka, blame it on the Henny
Blame it on the blue tap, got you feeling dizzy
Blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol
Blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol

Shawty's like a melody in my head
That I can't keep out
Got me singin' like
Na na na na everyday
It's like my iPod stuck on replay
Stuck on replay
Stuck on replay
Replay
Replay-ay-ay-ay

Baby, are you down, down, down, down, down?
Baby are you down?

I'm only gonna break break your break break your heart
I'm only gonna break break your break break your heart
I'm only gonna break break your break break your heart
I'm only gonna break your heart

Don't stop, making pop
DJ blow my speakers up
Tonight, I'mma fight
Till we see the sun light
Tick tock, on the clock
But the polka don't stop (no)
Yodel-yodel-lady-hoo
Yodel-yodel-lady-hoo

P-p-p-polka face p-p-polka face (mum mum mum mah)
P-p-p-polka face p-p-polka face
Oh no you can't read my p-p-polka face
Talk about my polka face
P-p-p-polka face