Bummin' Around [Compilation]

I got about half high
So I spent the whole weekend out
I got home Monday morning
Tore up like a can of kraut

My only suit was layin' on the steps
I just picked it up and run
And I ain't been back there since

Well mad yeah she's mad
It's back to the doghouse
I know from the practice I've had
When she's mad I play a dangerous game
In the obituary column
They've already printed my name

She's five feet three
And weights about hundred and eight
She's the kind of gal don't believe
In men a makin' mistakes

She's sweet and mighty nice
But when she's mad
She's got a voice that'll cut through ice

Well mad ooh she's mad
It's back to the doghouse
I know from the practice I've had
When she's mad I play a dangerous game
In the obituary column
They've already printed my name

She's got eyes like a cat
And she watches every move that I make
An alarm clock mind
That's ringin' every time that I'm late

I'm sorry, sick and all alone
But I'll have to stick it out
'Cause it just ain't safe to go home

Well mad ooh she's mad
It's back to the doghouse
I know from the practice I've had
When she's mad I play a dangerous game
In the obituary column
They've already printed my name

In the obituary column
They've already printed my name
In the obituary column
They've already printed my name

My dearest mama, they just gave us time to write
I miss you and there's something on my mind tonight
At mail call, I received your letter here today
But I don't understand the things you say

You tell me there are people marching in our streets
The signs they carry say that we don't fight for peace
There's not a soldier in this foreign land, who likes this war
Oh mama, tell them what we're fighting for

Tell them that we're fighting for the old red, white and blue
Did they forget Pearl Harbor and Korea too
Another flag must never fly above our nation's door
Oh mama, tell them what we're fighting for

From Maine to California, there are many noble men
Who know the price of war and pray, we'd never fight again
But the world must learn, that we will fight, we will protect our shore
Oh mama, tell them what we're fighting for
Oh mama, tell them what we're fighting for
Oh mama, tell them what we're fighting for

He said, "Pardon me for bein' so bold
But you got a cigarette that's already rolled"
I gave him one, he lit it in his own good time
The smoke in that poolroom hung like a fog
When he talked it sounded like a growling dog
He said, "Would you care for a dollar on the five or nine?"

Now this man was ugly and his eyes were mean
His clothes were dirty but his hands were clean
He held that stick like a mother holds the hand of her child
Well, I've been known to hustle a few
When the waitress said, "Was he playing you?"
And I said, "Yeah, bring me brandy water by"

Little Red Parker was way in the back taking quarters and handling racks
And I told him, "Red, come up here, glue 'em up tight
That brandy had me feeling warm, I tipped that waitress
And I checked her form
And I said, "Honey, you like a winner", and she just smiled

I played like a man with a broken wrist, I won two and he won six
And I had him set up so I said, "Let's play for five"
But this time the crowd had gathered round
To see this fish and just watch him drown
I told that waitress, "More brandy water by"

Then he went out and got a custom cue
He said, "It's no offense to you
But I don't play off the wall with nobody but friends"
He had a gold initials in a leather grip pearly and silver inlaid tip
He smiled at me and he said, "Hell-a-way, we play for ten"

Well, I never seen a man that walk who made those balls and table talk
They're speaking English, he sure didn't need my help
He broke the ball and kept that string
For a hundred and eighty seven bucks and a ring
Till I gave up and said, "Friend, you're gonna have to play by yourself"

Well, he racked it up and walked outside
And I strolled out just to watch him ride
And there was a blond in their caddy built like the rest of that car
The boys in the poolroom they had 'em a laugh
And I hung it up and just let it pass
And had nothin' but my elbows to put on the bar

And the waitress smiled said, "Water by?"
I took the charity and thanked her polite
And sittin' there sippin' and suddenly I had me a thought
Unlucky gambler and lucky in love
Guess you know what I was thinking of
When I said waitress, "Honey, what time you get off?"

She kinda breezed into town from New Orleans,
And said, "Boys, I'm Big John's Cajun Queen,
Now I didn't come here to argue or waste anybody's time,
I just came to get my man from your dirty old mine,
'Cause he moves me!
Now where you give up's where old Queenie's gonna start,
'Cause I got a powerful love in my heart,
So just show me the hole way down in the ground,
And tell the whole wide world Big John's been found,
And he's livin'!"

So down in the mine without a sign of a light,
Old Queenie went a-lookin' for John that night,
She found him there at the bottom of the pit,
And placed a red hot kiss on those cold blue lips!
He started breathin'!
She waited a minute and then she kissed him again,
And old John got the power of a hundred men,
Up he come a-clawin' and a-diggin' like a mole,
And said, "Come on Queenie, we're gonna leave this hole!"
They started walkin'!

Now a roar from the crowd greeted this fine pair,
As they both walked out in that cool night air,
And up for silence went Big John's hand,
And the Queen said, "I told you I'd get my man,
'Cause he moves me!"
You can find them today, they're down in New Orleans,
Big Bad John and his Cajun Queen,
They're a little bit wrinkled from the strain of time,
But their love's just as strong as that night in the mine,
A hundred and ten grandchildren!

Now the moral of this story has a real clear omen,
Don't you ever underestimate the power of a woman!

(Big John, Big John)
Every mornin' at the mine you could see him arrive
He stood six foot six and weighed two forty five
Kinda broad at the shoulder and narrow at the hip
And everybody knew ya didn't give no lip to Big John.
(Big John, Big John) Big Bad John (Big John)

Nobody seemed to know where John called home
He just drifted into town and stayed all alone
He didn't say much, kinda quiet and shy
And if you spoke at all, you just said "Hi" to Big John.

Somebody said he came from New Orleans
Where he got in a fight over a Cajun Queen
And a crashin' blow from a huge right hand
Sent a Loosiana fellow to the Promised Land-Big John
(Big John, Big John) Big Bad John (Big John)

Then came the day at the bottom of the mine
When a timber cracked and men started cryin'
Miners were prayin' and hearts beat fast
And everybody thought that they'd breathed their last-'cept John

Through the dust and the smoke of this man-made hell
Walked a giant of a man that the miners knew well
Grabbed a saggin' timber, gave out with a groan
And like a giant oak tree he just stood there alone-Big John
(Big John, Big John) Big Bad John (Big John)

And with all of his strength he gave a mighty shove
Then a miner yelled out "There's a light up above!"
And twenty men scrambled from a would-be grave
Now there's only one left down there to save-Big John

With jacks and timbers they started back down
Then came that rumble way down in the ground
And then smoke and gas belched out of that mine
Everybody knew it was the end of the line for Big John
(Big John, Big John) Big Bad John (Big John)

Now they never reopened that worthless pit
They just placed a marble stand in front of it
These few words are written on that stand
At the bottom of this mine lies one hell of a man big john
(Big John, Big John) Big Bad John (Big John)

(Big John, Big John) Big Bad John (Big John)

Many people look through their wallet or their pocket books and, way down at the bottom, past the credit cards and baby pictures and so on, you usually find a little 'ol piece of dog-eared poetry. I was cleaning out my wallet the other day and ran across a whole bunch of I.O.U's, some of 'em thirty-five years overdue. And you know the funny thing, all these I.O.U's are owed to one person and I kinda felt like that maybe now would be a pretty good time for an accountin'.

Mom, I sure hope you're listenin'.
Sweet lady, I.O.U. for so many things...
A lot of services, like night watchman for instance...
Lyin' awake nights, listenin' for coughs and cries and creakin' floorboards
Ha ha, and me comin' in too late.
Boy, you had the eye of an eagle and the roar of a lion,
But you always had a heart as big as a house.
I.O.U. for services like, uh, short order cook, chef, baker...
For makin' sirloin out o' hamburger an' turkey out o' tuna fish,
And big ol' strappin' boys out of leftovers.
I.O.U. for cleanin' services,
The daily scrubbing of face and ears...all work done by hand.
And for the frequent dustin' of a small boy's pants
To try to make sure that you led a spotless life.
And for washin' and ironin' that no laundry could ever do.
For dryin' the tears of childhood
And ironin' out the problems of growin' up.
I.O.U. for services as a bodyguard,
For protectin' me from the terrors of thunderstorms and nightmares
Ha, and too many green apples.
And Lord knows, I.O.U. for medical attention,
For nursing me through measles, mumps, bruises,
Bumps, splinters and spring fever.
Oh-oh, let's not forget medical advice...important things like,
"If you keep on scratching that, it'll never get well." or
"If you cross your eyes, they're gonna stick like that.".
And probably the most important advice of all,
"Boy, you be sure you got on clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
And I.O.U. for veterinarian services,
For feeding every lost dog that I dragged home at the end of the rope,
And for healing the pains of puppy love.
And I.O.U. for entertainment...
Entertainment that kept the household goin' through some pretty rough times...
And for wonderful productions at Christmas, the Fourth of July, birthdays...
And for making make-believe come true...
And you did it all on such a limited budget.
I.O.U. for construction work, for building kites and confidence, hopes and dreams and...
Somehow you made them all touch the sky...
And for cementin' together a family
So it would stand the worst kind of shocks and blows...
And for layin' down a good strong foundation to build a life on.
I.O.U. for carrier charges...
For carryin' me on your books for the necessities of life
That a growin' boy somehow, well, they just gotta have.
Things like, ha ha, a pair of high top boots,
With a little pocket on the side for a jackknife.
And one thing, Mom, I'll never forget...
When there were two pieces of pie and three hungry people...
You were always the one who decided, well, I'm not really that hungry anyhow.
These are just a few of the things for which payment is long overdue...
The person that I owe 'em to worked very, very cheap...
She managed by simply doin' without a whole lot o' things that she needed herself...
My I.O.U's add up to more than I could ever hope to repay,
But you know the nicest thing about it all...
That I know, that she had marked the entire bill 'Paid In Full'
For just one kiss and four little words...Mom, I love you!