Dare To Be Stupid

["State Of Shock" by The Jacksons w/ Mick Jagger]
You're takin' to me good,
Just like you know you should.
You get me on my knees,
Please, baby, please.
She looks so great, everytime I see her face.
She put me in a state, ooh! (state of shock)

["Sharp Dressed Man" by ZZ Top]
Top coat. Top hat.
I don't worry, 'cause my wallet's fat.
Black shades. White glove.
Lookin' sharp. Lookin' for love.
They come a-runnin' just as fast as they can,
'Cause every girl's crazy 'bout a sharp-dressed man, hey!

Whoo! Ah ha!

["What's Love Got To Do With It" by Tina Turner]
Oh, what's love, got to do, got to do with it?
What's love but a second-hand emotion?
What's love got to do, got to do with it?
Who needs a heart, when a heart can be broken?

["Method Of Modern Love" by Hall & Oates]
M-E-T-H-O-D-O-F-L-O-V-E,
It's the method of modern love.

["Owner Of A Lonely Heart" by Yes]
Owner of a lonely heart.
Owner of a lonely heart,
Much better than the
Owner of a broken heart.
Owner of a lonely heart.

Yea. yea yea yea yea yea yea.

["We're Not Gonna Take It" by Twisted Sister]
We're not gonna take it. No!
We ain't gonna take it.
We're not gonna take it, any more.

["99 Luftballons" by Nena]
99 Von luftballons
Auf ihrem Weg zum Horizont.
Denkst du vielleicht Grad an mich.
Dann singe ich ien Lied fur dich.

["Footloose" by Kenny Loggins]
Now I gotta cut loose. Footloose.
Kick off my Sunday shoes.
Please! Louise! Pull me off-a my knees.
Jack! Get back! Come on, before we crack!
Lose your blues. Ev'rybody cut footloose!

["The Reflex" by Duran Duran]
So why-- don't you use it.
Try-- not to bruise it.
Find-- time, don't lose it.

["Bang Your Head (Metal Health)" by Quiet Riot]
Bang your head.
Metal health'll drive ya mad.
Bang your head.
Metal health'll drive ya mad.

["Relax" by Frankie Goes To Hollywood]
Relax, don't do it.
When you wanna go to it.
Relax, don't do it.
When you wanna come.
Relax, don't do it.
When you wanna sock it to it.
Relax, don't do it.
When you wanna come.
When you wanna come.
When you want to come.

I met him in a swamp down in dagoba
Where it bubbles all the time like a giant carbonated soda
S o d a, soda

I saw the little runt sitting there on a log
I asked him his name and in a raspy voice he said "yoda"
Y o d a, yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo yoda

Well, i've been around, but i ain't never seen
A guy who looks like a muppet, but he's wrinkled and green
Oh, my yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo yoda

Well, i'm not dumb, but i can't understand
How he can lift me in the air just by raising his hand
Oh, my yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo yoda yo-yo-yo-yo yoda

Well, i left home just a week before
And i've never ever been a jedi before
But obi wan, he set me straight, of course
He said, "go to yoda and he'll show you the force"

Well i'm not the kind that would argue with ben
So it looks like i'm gonna start all over again
With my yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo yoda yo-yo-yo-yo yoda

Yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo yoda yo-yo-yo-yo yoda

So i used the force
I picked up a box
I lifted some rocks
While i stood on my head
Well, i won't forget what yoda said

He said, "luke, stay away from the darker side
And if you start to go astray, let the force be your guide"
Oh, my yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo yoda

"i know darth vader's really got you annoyed
But remember, if you kill him, then you'll be unemployed"
Oh, my yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo yoda

Well, i heard my friends really got in a mess
So i'm gonna have to leave yoda, i guess
But i know that i'll be coming back some day
I'll be playing this part 'till i'm old and gray

The long-term contract that i had to sign
Says i'll be making these movies till the end of time
With my yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo yoda yo-yo-yo-yo yoda

Yoda yo-yo-yo-yo yoda yo-yo-yo-yo yoda
Yoda yo-yo-yo-yo yoda yo-yo-yo-yo yoda

Yoda yo-yo-yo-yo yoda yo-yo-yo-yo yoda
Yoda yo-yo-yo-yo yoda yo-yo-yo-yo yoda

Yoda yo-yo-yo-yo yoda yo-yo-yo-yo yoda
Yoda yo-yo-yo-yo yoda yo-yo-yo-yo yoda

Woh oh

I want a new duck
One that won't try to bite
One that won't chew a hole in my socks
One that won't quack all night

I want a new duck
One with big webbed feet
One that knows how to wash my car
And keep his room real neat

One that won't raid the ice box
One that'll stay in shape
One that's never gonna try to migrate or escape
Or i'll tie him up with duck tape

I want a new duck
A mallard i think
One that won't make a mess of my house
Or build a nest in the bathroom sink

I want a new duck
One that won't steal my beer
One that won't stick his bill in my mail
One that knows the duck stops here

One that won't drive me crazy waddling all around
One who'll teach me how to swim and help me not to drown
And show me how to get down
How to get down baby

Get it?
*****
*****
*** ****
****
*** ***

I want a new duck
Not a swan or a goose
Just a drake i can dress real cute
Think i'm gonna name him bruce

I want a new duck
Not a quail or an owl
One that won't molt to much
One that won't smell too fowl

One that won't beg for breadcrumbs
Hangin' around all day
He'd better mind his manners
Better do just what i say
Or he's gonna be duck patte, duck patte, yah, yah
*

*****
***** (*** ** **)
****
*******
(lots of quacking sounds)

I eat filet mignon seven times a day
My bathtub's filled with perrier
What can i say
This is the life

I buy a dozen cars when i'm in the mood
I hire somebody to chew my food
I'm an upwardly mobile dude
This is the life

They say that money corrupts you
But i can't really tell
I got the whole world at my feet
And i think it's pretty swell

I got women lined up outside my door
They've been waitin' there since the week before
Who could ask for more
This is the life

You're dead for a real long time
You just can't prevent it
So if money can't buy happiness
I guess i'll have to rent it

Yeah, every day i make the front page news
No time to pay my dues
I got a million pairs of shoes
This is the life

I got a solid gold cadillac
I make a fortune while i sleep
You can tell i'm a living legend
Not some ordinary creep

No way, i'm the boss, the big cheese
Yeah, i got this town on its knobby little knees
And i can do just what i please
This is the life

That's right, i'm the king, number one
I buy monographed kleenex by the ton
I pay the bills, i call the shots
I grease the palms, i buy the yachts

One thing i can guarantee
The best things in life, they sure ain't free
It's such a thrill just to be me
This is the life
Waah, this is the life

(constant "doo wop"s in the background throughout the song)

Aahh....

Well i heard that you're leavin' (leavin')
Gonna leave me far behind (so far behind)
'cause you found a brand new lover
You decided that i'm not your kind (aahh..)

So i pulled (i pulled) your name out (name out) of my rolodex (oohh..)
And i tore all your pictures in two
And i burned down the malt shop where we used to go
Just because it reminds me of you (dippity dippity doo)

That's right (that's right) you ain't gonna see me cryin'
I'm glad (i'm glad) that you found somebody new
'cause i'd rather spend eternity eating shards of broken glass
Than spend one more minute with you

I guess i might seem kinda bitter
You got me feeling down in the dumps
'cause i'm stranded all alone in the gas station of love
And i have to use the self-service pumps

Oh, so honey, let me help you with that suitcase
You ain't (you ain't) gonna break my heart in two
'cause i'd rather get a hundred thousand paper cuts on my face
Than spend one more minute with you

I'd rather rip out my intestines with a fork
Than watch you going out with other men
I'd rather slam my fingers in a door (yah)
Again and again and again and again and again

Oh, can't you see what i'm tryin' to say, darlin...

I'd rather have my blood sucked out by leeches (leeches)
Shove an icepick under a toenail or two
I'd rather clean all the bathroom in grand central station with my tongue
Than spend one more minute with you

Yes, i'd rather jump naked on a huge pile of thumbtacks
Or stick my nostrils together with crazy glue
I'd rather dive into a swimming pool filled with double-edged razor blades
Than spend one more minute with you

I'd rather rip my heart out of my ribcage with my bare hands
And then throw it on the floor and stomp on it 'till i die
Than spend one more minute with you