Short Dog'

(verse 1):
You hear me talking you know i'm from the o-a-k
I tell it like it is and that's the only way
I'm the m the a the c the k i write my rhymes everyday
Now all you one-rap rappers what are you doin'
I got so many raps so just go right thru 'em
My name is short but i rap long rhymes
Hand me your mic i do it all the time
Now could you be like me i hate to say it
It's like comparin' mickey d's and quick ways
You only got 3 stores i got the whole wide world
I get beeps everyday from your favorite girl
But i'm such a dog i never call tha freak
Hit it once and she was just too weak
At my house i keep finer things
The candy paints, got her sprung on my diamond rings
She could live like a queen if she was miss too $hort
Have 2 babies, get child support
But at this point she gets nathin from me
I ain't fakin' it, freak, i'm just makin' the beat
So don't dance, ride the strip
All day long playin' too $hort hits
Pop in the tape and start ridin'
Silly young freak who started sidin'
In the oaktown

(chorus):
Oaktown , oaktown
Oak-oak-oak-oaktown
In the oaktown
Oaktown , oak-oak-oak-oaktown
Oaktown
Oak-oak-oak-oaktown
Oaktown , oak-oak-oaktown
Oak-oak-oak-oaktown
Oaktown

(verse 2):
See i'm a true mc, i'm not a mc fool
I'm just rich and famous and way too cool
I get paid to rhyme and i do mean g'z
You don't like my raps don't buy 'em please
I give you no refund cause my bass is phat
Make it hit so hard just like a punch in the back
It's that dopefiend beat got my rap on your plate
Tryin' to bite my style and make a demo tape
Now could you be like me or someone else
Bass hittin' hard like the freaky tales
Oaktown style it goes just like this
If you never heard me rap don't trip
Cause i hit the scene with my homie too clean
We slap hands like a tag team
Some people say they don't like cali raps
People like that must be smokin' that crack
I rhyme good it's been 10 long years
Gettin' sick of all that stuff i always hear
Too $hort can't rap, he's from the westcoast
Between me and you patna i sell the most
So let's take it to the stage and don't get scared
Cause me and too clean, we come well prepared
They call me playboy short, and the girls i play
Every single day
In the oaktown

(chorus): till the end

I heard there was a rumor too $hort was dead
Walked in the house and got shot in the head
I know you don't believe it, if you do you're wrong
How can i die and rock it all night long?
I'm too $hort baby, spit that rap
I put oakland, california on the map
It's so hard, got you telling lies
Can't hold me back so you say i died
It's incredible, i came back to life
I never let 'em bury me without my mic
I keep breathing, don't stop that breath
Now everybody's talking about too $hort's death
Am i a zombie, or something close?
I'm not casper, i mack all the ghosts
Oaktown style is the only way
I catch a new freak every day
It's not the yellow brick road, it's called the foothill strip
Stand on your toes, make your heels go click
Three times, it's no place like home
So why you wanna bury me all alone
I bring a new meaning to underground rap
Dead or alive, i'm still born to mack
Always on the pop charts, straight rapping
I'm not dead, i'm just macking

So as the word turns, i'm a living soul
I even heard a rumor that i overdosed
I'm not a reincarnation of something old
Like king tut i was buried in gold
Why you wanna cry when i'm still living?
Word got out and the rumors started spreading
My momma, called one night
Said "todd, are you all right?
The whole family's got the too $hort blues
I heard it last night on the evening news"
And that's bad, it's not even true
I told my momma like this "let's sue"
So many times, i heard i died
I guess i'm like a cat and i got nine lives
Well i'm the p-l-a, y-e-r
I lay bunnies, like hugh heffner
I'm her flavor, kinda saucy
I lay back and let the young freak toss me
Even if she don't like serving a pimp
I'm still living, so let's do it again
I keep rapping, hard as hell
Cause your rumors make my records sell
If you continue, i'll soon be rich
Riding around town going "biiiitch!"

People always say "too $hort can't rap"
Now i drive a benz and my bank is fat
It's like crap, put a "c" on a rhyme
Ain't nothing left homie but a scandalous crime
I'm the best damn rapper you could ever hate
Say i died on the freeway in the earthquake
Say i'm washed up, say i'm through
But the fact still stands i'm better than you
You got rhymes? well i got more
I take you on a trip to my rappin' store
You find rhymes and raps, poems and caps
Way more raps than any rapper could rap
Cause if you rap like me, he wouldn't have to be
Weak on the mic like my boy mc
It don't stop, to the funky beat
I know you like dancing with a real big freak
I can't dance, but i sure can rhyme
I sold a million, in '89
And if you didn't know baby, it's the 90's now
Old short dog got a new breakdown
I went to miko's, fresh candy paint
Now i'm doing things that the suckers can't
If i was dead, they'd call it "dead man's rap"
But on the real, short dog is back

Funk funky, off the parliament
I'm still living, so let's do it again
It's incredible, even if i die
I never let 'em bury me without my mic
I bring a new meaning, to underground rap
Dead or alive, i'm still born to mack
I say "what's up" to my homies in santa rita
Right about now i know you need a
Too $hort rhyme to get you through the day
Oaktown style is the only way
I came up, and now i've sworn
To rock this mic til i can't no more
And that's game, straight pop the most
Mc rapper from the west coast
Too $hort, dead or alive
I still chill on the eastside
Cause i remember how it all began
House parties in east oakland
Now it's on the pop charts, still rapping
I'm not dead, i'm just macking

write a little save-a-hoe speech all these fake-ass hoes...
Fake punk-ass bitches...
Do you know what i mean vern?
Fuckin'em up like this, vern...
$hort dog's in the house, bitch!

She's a punk-ass bitch, hoe, tramp and a slut
Took her to the hotel just to fuck
Last night she licked all on my balls
Pussy got wet like niagara-falls
Dropped my drawls and bitch said: "shit!"
Skinny mothafucka with a fat-ass dick
It's like a t-p-treatment, tongue so fast
From the tip of my head to the crack of my ass
She got busy so i called to the crew
You bitches know what to do
Hoes try to front like they ain't no tramps
Try to get that pussy and she say you can't
Me and my partners we got that game
Check a square-ass bitch and make her throw that thang
You wine and dine that nasty freak
Dropped her off and got a kiss on cheek
You never even know how she ran in the home
Jumped on the phone and started to burnin' me out
She kept beepin' so i made the call
Bitch on the phone jackin' off
Sounded like she was havin' fun
Playin' with her pearl tongue
I said: "bitch, i'm on my way!"
I givit to you, homeboy, play by play
She had on polkadots with miniskirt
Jumped in the car straight went to work
I must to bust two nuts back to back
Never seen a bitch work head like that
She had me jumpin' out of my seat
Workin' her jaws to the beat
She was a good dicksucker, i can't lie
Sucked so good i thought i'd die
Bitch blew me up and blew me down
All the way back to the oakland-town
Baby started to singin': "i love you!"
Tellin' me things she wanted to do
If i needed some money come to her
Everythin' i want is everythin' i'm worth
And you know what i said? i told the bitch
I said: "bitch, i'm rich!"

Fuck these hoes, man...
I ain't trippin'...i'm like al...
Long-hair suckers...

I know you're fine, bitch
But you got no cash you need to get a job
But your lazy-ass try to juice me up
I ain't no punk
I put you in the rap with some serious funk
I wouldn't buy you a car, no diamonds and shit
All the time talkin' about your fake-ass gifts
George bought you a ring, john bought you a chain
Bitch, i'm buyin' you an ounce of this game
You better take it and shut the fuck up
Stop runnin' your mouth like a sucka
Cause you's a punk bitch it shows a mile away
Everythin' you do and everythin' you say
Makes you a punk bitch, no good, no doubt
All i gotta do is stick a dick in your mouth
Wanna give up the pussy, bitch, i'll pass
You're too slim, i like your mama's ass
Pops came home, came up short
Found me in the backroom, fuckin'em both
Now i'm the stepdaddy and the son in law
You call me too $hort they call me too raw
I creep out one room into the next
Nothin' goin' on but some serious sex
Some of these hoes might think i'm played
Bald-head bitch need some dookie braids
Cause that nappy-hair don't even hit
What's cookin' in the kitchen on the back of your neck
Like you burned the rise and wanna front on me
You could never fuck with $hort, baby
I'm from the o-a-k-l-a-n-d
I slap you in the face with reality
These punk-ass hoes out here is sick
Have ya walkin round with a drippy dick
So beautiful fine young thang
To get that cock was just like a dream
But now three days later ask kool moe
You feel the burnin' sensation down below
You're a true blue victim of a punk-ass bitch
Thought she was a square and she gave you the shit
So for all you hoes that live like this
All the homies in the house say: "punk-ass bitch!"

Verse 1:
Life is too short but now it's kind of funky
I make the beats for me and my homies
Newspaper reporters and others always ask me
Why i'm x-rated and i rap so nasty
When i was a teen i did nothing else
But pick up a pen and express myself
The things i wrote were obsene and kind of dirty
But mama always said the truth couldn't hurt me
She also said that it would set me free
I guess she was r-i-g-h-t on the nail
Cause now i'm out making my mail
It all started out from a freaky tale
If that's what sells then i'm a stick with it
Short dog ain't changing, so forget it
You can sell out if you want to, homie
But i'm a stay short but funky

Verse 2:
Don't stop, just call it verse two
It's short dog baby from the dangerous crew
Not your average everyday fake rap on the micro
I might say something that your mother don't like so
Don't play it loud if she's around to see
But you can play this cause it's rated pg
When i'm rated x i'm just having my fun
I bring a smile to each and every one
But there's a serious side in everything i say
Life is too short for you to wait 'til the next day
Just straighten up your life and you can start right here
Drop the cocaine and the bottles of beer
People always say it ain't right to preach
But take my advice, get wise and reach for the sky
So you can live like a king homie
And i'm a stay short but funky

Verse 3:
You never catch me on the mic rappin' a dance tune
I like it kind of mellow with the sound of the bass boom
The style is mine, i've been doing it for ten
You might say it's simple, but i'm making my ends
See i don't trip on a punk cause i jack him
Too $hort plus the cuss words equals platinum
What would i look like dancing on a stage
I wave my hand and do it like the old days
But some dumb fool want to take it out of hand
With 50 million dancers and a big old band
That ain't me, i'm from the old school
Play the instrumental, get the mic and i'm cool
Cause i'm an oaktown mack and it's like that, so
It all comes out in my records and my stage show
In my category i'm the one and only
And i'm a stay short but funky

Hey yo, that's it
Baby jesus

Dog baby from the dangerous crew

Too $hort, mc

Rap like me, you'll go straight to the top
Keep doing what you're doing and you're sure to get dropped
Like a trick, nothing's even up my sleeve
A million albums sold and it's hard to believe
Well it's true homeboy, it's not a lie
I used to sell tapes on sunnyside
I used to catch the 40 bus around the way
Me and fred benz, slanging tapes
All these things, that we did
Grab the microphone and start screaming "bitch!"
You fronting mc, i hate to cap
You make hit records and you still can't rap
I said it before, i'll say it again
You don't belive me, ask your fans
When i walked into cali, the place was packed
Sir too $hort "don't stop that rap"
I keep rapping my rhymes, all the time
You got no rhymes, so you listen to mine
I'm not starting a fight, just telling it right
The best damn rapper who ever grabbed the mic
His name is too $hort, now shut your mouth
In '81 i was rocking the house
I'm a hustler, baby, coming up
I hustle every day and i don't sell drugs
I don't run no gangs, don't shoot no dice
Gave the same damn speech to the oakland vice
But if you keep pushing, just like you
When they see me on the strip, coming through
I break it down so vicious it'll break your back
With the beat so loud playing too $hort raps
That's it, i'm set
No need to talk that bullshit
I need a, oaktown, big time sound
Just enough beat to get on down
So, you other rappers listen to mine
You wouldn't catch short dog rapping nursery rhymes
Call my rap trash, jam the junk
Put a sticker on the cover: "x-rated funk"
It's just me, you say i won't go far
But i won't stop rapping cause i rap so hard
>from here to new york, back to california
I bumped your girlfriend, don't say i didn't warn ya
All this time you said she's your ho
You really shouldn't give baby all that dough
She gave it all to me cause i fuck so good
I practice on the girls in my neighborhood
Cause when i'm freaky i rap, i spit a rap to a freak
I rarely ever think about a sucker mc
I go platinum, it's just like slapping 'em, bitch
Short dog in the house, starting some shit
Mc's rock and mc's roll
But the albums they make never go gold
When i was young, i knew i'd be one of the best
Every time i made a song it came out so fresh
I was the king of the oaktown, spitting my game
10 years later, ain't nothing changed
Still the boss of the bay, and i know what they say
They call me "godfather" and they call you "gay"
Bitch! it's 1990
Your girlfriend's out there trying to find me
She heard about me, i fucked her best friend
I guess she wants to see if i can do it again
You want to be like me, so damn bad
The impossible dream all you mc's had
If you could rap like me, you wouldn't have the dream
Start rapping quit flapping like a chicken wing
If could rap like me, they say you're so great
But when they talk about you, they say you're so fake
And as the days go by, you can't forget
The way i make you feel like shit
Mc's like you, i've seen 'em before
You keep on saying "fuck too $hort"
But i'm a better mc than you
And ain't a damn thing you can do, but bitch
On the tv screen, in the magazines
When they interview you, you just make up things
You're on an ego trip and you're fronting like you're down
You're not the first real rapper from the oakland town
You're just a new jack, and you can't even rap
You wanna trip? trip on that
I'm like mc lyte, checking hoes tonight
If you're not a real rapper, get off the mic
Cause with a fake mc, a song's never complete
You'd better learn to rap like me

"thought you want to be like too $hort" (scratched 2x)

Whenever i rap, you call it noise
I'm tearing up shit up like the acorn boys
On 10th street, i got a big freak
Until you learn to speak, realize you're weak
Cause it's the oaktown, and they all get down
To the rhythm of the too $hort funky sound
It goes boom, baseline's on ya
Dangerous crew from oakland, california
Bitch don't front cause short dog is hard
If you answer my rap, i tear your ass apart
Just liket this, it lasts forever
You make a song and i make one better
You say i cuss, i say you're fake
Your eyes pop open like paper plates
You fronting mc, i hate to cap
I make hit records with the vicious raps
I said it before, i'll say it again
The boy ain't nothing but one of my fans
Like silicon titties, can you feel 'em?
How can a fake rapper fuck with a real one?
Shit, i'm that rapping man
I like you like the klu klux klan
Motherfucker want to front on me?
My posse got a real mc, too $hort
And it don't stop, and it don't stop, and it won't stop
Cause i'm too $hort baby on the microphone and i'm macking, bitch

"thought you want to be like too $hort" (scratched 4x)

Now back to the subject, my boy mc
Whatever you say, you can't rap like me
Rappers like me make real hits
Rappers like you talk bullshit
I told my boys there's a new funky drummer in town
You're trying to be like james brown
If i couldn't be me, who would i be?
I damn sure wouldn't be a sucker mc
Cause i'm not like you, my game is true
I pimped these hoes and i pimped you, too
Cause i'm boss, and boss makes the rules
You disobey and you be a fool (now listen)
One, remember how it all began
Don't guess, the answer is "oakland"
Two, you'd better learn to rap like me
Or you like to be a fake mc
Three, never talk down on a player
I wouldn't care if you was fred astaire
Last but not least, number four:
Don't ever fuck with too $hort, bitch

"thought you want to be like too $hort" (scratched 2x)