Kool Moe Dee

What are you crazy, you know who I am
(Moe Dee!) yes, I'm the man
I am the flyest, cleanest, baddest, meanest
Rapper that walks the streets
My rhymes are always on point
Smooth as an ointment
I mitigate any beat
I'll take you where I want to go
I sound slick when I kick it on a slow tempo
And if you ask if there's someone better than Moe
Like Luther Vandross, they'll say, 'don't you know?
Really, really, really don't you know?'
Cause I'm a real rap warrior, Elite Astoria
I'll take on 104 of ya
Highest paid rappers if they put up the plucks
And I'll prove that they're all ducks
Cause I don't care nothin 'bout your money and gold
Don't want to hear about how many recrods you sold
Cause none of that don't mean nothin to me
Cause I'm 'the greatest' - but not Ali
I'm cool Moe Dee

What are you senile, have you lost your mind?
I'm the greatest rapper of all time
If they had a rapper's hall of fame, bein that it's all a game
I might not be down, because some rappers got a name
From screamin and yellin with hot records sellin
But your rhymes are smellin, that's why I'm tellin
You, when I go, homeboy, I'm gone
Cause I'm better but don't get me wrong
There is no disrespect meant, my only intent
Is to get some of that cold cash to spend
Consider rappin as a competitive sport
And we're all enemies on the court
But when the game is over I'll shake your hand
Give ya a pound, cause you're still my man
But if you put both of us in front of a mic stand
Homeboy, it's a new game plan
Cause I gotta disrespect ya, try to disconnect ya
Break you down like a clown cause I'm an intellect, ya
Bird brain rappers I call hip-happers
Not hip-hoppers, cause y'all just happen to
Be on a mic so you can hear your voice
But your rhymes is Dunkenheins, soft and moist
Some rappers are too hard and others too soft
But I'm perfect, I just go off
Because I depict rappin consumately
Cause I'm 'the greatest' - but no Ali
I'm cool Moe Dee

Don't piss me, I know you miss me
So now you think I fell off? Don't diss me
Just use some innovation and close your eyes
And visualize us on the Enterprise
And set all coordinates on the subordinate
Rappers, beam em up, take their minds and broaden it
Set em back to Earth and watch the network
Multiply by mega-millions, you witness a burst
Of a new society, rappers with variety
So much prestige, flair and notoriety
Michael and Prince would seem like small figures
It's hard to believe but think about it, it figures
I personify perfection and my mic is a tool
I make another rapper feel small as a molecule
There's no race no contest, I'll never have to jostle
They're small time, to them I am collossal
I'm a gladiator with the image of a god
I'm powerful but camouflaged
Like Moses had the power to separate the sea
I by the power invested in me
Put words in rhythm, recite em as poem
Put em on records to display em and show em
To an entourage of fiends who are also loyal
Who through their eyes are seeing me as the royal
King that feed the hungry souls
That starve for excitement ????
The Ice Man cometh, cool Moe Dee
The messiah is rated on a higher marquee
I be a god, apex of the hip-hop cult
I'm the leader rhyme breeder, yes, I am the ult-
imate idolized figure, there's not a name bigger
Than cool Moe Dee cause no one has the vigour
That I possess and that's cause I
Really feel that I'm the best, so I personify
Rap to the fullest, I totally perplex
The majority of rappers and they turn out vexed
The other competition because of my position
I don't stop rockin under no condition
I rock non-stop but don't ever fatigue
And many experts in the busines are so intrigued
That they begin to draw conclusion, some askin questions
Is it possible to rock by the power of suggestion?
Well that depends totally on the source of power
And if it's your brain, the answer's of course cause I'm a
Auto-hypnotic, reverse-pschotic
That'll make you feel, if you want it I got it
Every second you spend with me
You know you feel that this is the place to be
Because I depict rappin consumately
I'm 'the greatest' - but not Ali
I'm cool Moe Dee

Three days later, go see the doctor...

I was, walking down the street, rocking my beat
Clapping my hands and stomping my feet
I saw a little lady so neet and petite
So was so sweet, yes I wanted to meet
So I asked this lady could I take her out
We could wine and dine and we could talk about
The birds and the bees in my waterbed
And you could treat me like a Buddha and bow your head
We continued to talk, and before you knew it
We were at my house and it was time to do it
As soon as I finished, I lost my poise
Ran outside and told all my boys
I said "Listen up fellas, come over here, bust it"
They said "Did you get it?" I said "Yeah," they said "How was it?"
The poontang was dope and you know that I rocked her
But three days later, go see the doctor

I rocked her to the left, rocked her to the right
She felt so good, hugged me so tight
I said "Good night"
Three days later...
Woke up fussing, yelling and cussing
Drip drip dripping and puss puss pussing
I went to the bathroom and said "Mama mia!"
I'm a kill that girl next time I see her
The madder I got, the more I reminice
Why is my thing thing burning like this?
Well I remember the first day I saw that girl
I just couldn't wait to rock her world
I said "Hey good looking, what you got cooking?"
What have I done stuck my dick in?
Now I know why her ex-boyfriend Dave
Calls her Mrs. Microwave
Cause she was hotter than an oven and I had to learn
The hard way stay in the microwave too long you get burned
But the poontang was dope and you know that I rocked her
But three days later, go see the doctor

I went to the doctor's office, I said "What have I got?"
He said "Turn around boy and take this shot"
I looked at him like he was crazy, and I said "What?"
Ain't nobody sticking nothing in my butt
He turned and said in a real deep voice
"Have it your way, if that's your choice
And I'll put it down if you want me to put it
But don't blame me if it turns into a foot
Extending from the middle of your body
And the next time you see your cute hottie
You won't be able to screw, the only thing you can do
Is just kick her, so go take karate"
As I turned around to receive my injection
I said "Next time I'll use some protection"
If I see another girl and I get an erection
I'm walking in the other direction
Cause I don't want to do the sick sick dance
So I'm keeping my prick inside my pants
And if I see another girl and I know I can rock her
Before I push up I'll make her go see the doctor

(Monster Crack)

1986 - return of the horror flicks
More deadly than _The Omen_, a killer and a showman
Like the devil in _The Excorcist_
But this flick can cause a heart attack
Cause it's more than action-packed
It's alive and killin and the star is a villain
And his name is Monster Crack
The crack monster

He talks to ya like he's alive
And when he talks like bees to a hive
The people come runnin, the older and the young'in
The place he lives in is the house they hung in
He wants your money, only your money
He'll make you feel good for a real fast twenty
The bill is passed and the dollars go fast
The feeling is high but the high don't last
Long enough for you to even read a paper
But you still thirst and hunger for the vapor
Although he is an animate, he'll make you feel
That he can breathe, think, talk and bleed for real
You should stay away cause all he's about
Is just makin you broke and stringin you out
It only takes one kiss and a deep, deep breath
Then you're hooked for life cause it's the kiss of death

Like savoir-faire he's everywhere
He'll hook an innocent baby cause he don't care
He loves to eat, girls and boys, and he's nothin but poison
The biggest ????? of Michael Jackson he's makin noise in
The streets he's notorious, to pushers he's glorious
To girls he's a pimp cause he turns em to the whoriest
Materialistic nymphomaniacs
That'll do anything for Monster Crack
Give away her body, steal from her brother
Fight her father or sell her mother
Cause when you're possessed by Crack, God bless
Your soul, cause he'll take the rest

The power of the mind should not be wasted
But the agony of defeat is always tasted
By those who chose to willingly oppose
??????? instead they follow their nose
And the more you get, the more you want
You're killin your brain out, so later on it'll haunt
You you become insatiable, you can't get enough
When your money gets low, things really get rough
It's your only objective, you lose all perspective
On life, you're obsessed, possessed and defective
Losin weight and disappearin but still perseverin
Your body tells you no, but all you're hearin
Is the crack talk

In South Africa many a brother died
Tryin to fight back against apartheid
Bombs are flying, people are dying
Terrorists terrorizing and the whole world's trying
To prevent another war, but I got a surprise
There's already - one right before your eyes
And we're nowhere near, the end this is only the beginning
Until this point the Crack has been winning
Weakening hearts, corrupting minds
A stone cold killer, very easy to find
And once he's caught by the law, he can't go to jail
Cause he's nothin but a little piece of matter for sale
Usin people like pawns in the game of chess
And he is the king, more powerful than the rest

(Monster Crack
The crack monster)