The Unfortunate Result Of Spare Time

There are nights when i'm in my bed
Fear, like a freight train, runnin' through my head
Watch a man in the county seat
Bring a gavel down and he looks like me

Little eddie stares at the corn all day
He says, "wonder how god makes it grow that way"
They say, "watch that weird kid wase away his life
He's one of those kline boys and you know what they're like"

Ooh, take me away to another world that doesn't think that way
Ooh, take me away to another world

Last september, it was late one night
Eddie's on a hilltop and he's listening to a fight
Finds a young girl, well, she's younger than most
Left with a blank stare, given up her ghost

He touches her lips and shuts her eyes
Pulls the knife out and begins to cry
Look at eddie standing in the moonlight
That weird little kid's got a switchblade knife

Ooh, take me away to another world that doesn't think that way

The hour arrives and the time is at hand
Eddie gets up and he walks off the stand
Stares at the jury sitting row by row
Wonders why god ever let them grow

Ooh take me away to another world that doesn't think that way

Filthy and anonymous in jackson, a dozen keys to nowhere in his hand
Black madonna, won't you change his luck and find him fifty grand?
'cause he's tore down, months from nowhere, with the day-to-day out of his hands

One key fit the door to their apartment, another fit the business he let die
A stray dog whines as the august rains turn naked ground to mud
And he's tore down, feelin' nothin' but the third-rate spirits in his blood

He's livin' for a ticket on the whiskey train
The saddest thing's to see him venerate that ball and chain

Roadhouse corn done cut his strings to somewhere, paper rich done met a ball of fire
Black dog cloud done filled his head and drained him like a vampire
Now he's tore down flat in jackson with a daily gig in the backdrop choir

He's livin' for a ticket on the whiskey train
The saddest thing's to see him venerate that ball and chain

A thick late august field of pigweed dances, a t.v. from the fillin' station's heard
He's holdin' up the wall, the moment says it all without a word
Well, he's tore down, world stopped movin' when 'halfway to the label' claimed it cured

Just be clever for clever's sake, starin' at the ceiling into shadow-fakes
The circle-smokes in the ladies room only got you as far as the roles assumed
A glimpse of the perfect crime is just a reverie away
Whadaya say we hang there a while for expediency's sake?

And fantasize the great demise of the unfunny
Cut and dry, we'll bid good-bye to the unfunny

Their personality inspires like a five pound bag of fertilizer
Like living in a house with fifteen cats, you're unaware of the stench when a line goes flat
A glimpse of the perfect crime is just a reverie away
Whadaya say we hang there a while for expediency's sake?

And fantasize the great demise of the unfunny
Set 'em up, we'll drink a cup to the unfunny

I climbed up the mountain, i sailed across the sea
But it don't matter anymore to me
I sent my money to the preacher man, i prayed for the lottery
But it don't matter anymore to me
Everybody has somewhere else they think they wanna be
But it don't matter anymore to me
I visited the gypsy, i visited the shrink
But it don't matter anymore to me
I drank bourbon whiskey like it was goin' extinct
But it don't matter anymore to me
Everybody has someone else they think they wanna be
But it don't matter anymore to me
I jeopardized my friends and my own mental health
Just tryin' to defend my own opinion of myself
I gave it all my money, i gave it all my time
But i don't know why
Tried to please everybody all of the time
But it don't matter anymore to me
You no sooner change yourself then they change their mind
It don't matter anymore to me
Everybody knows someone else they think you oughta be
It don't matter anymore to me

I'm having a conversation with some friends i know
Somebody i agree with no matter where i go
Somebody i never have to wait for or try to read their minds
Somebody i never have to say, "are you having a good time?"
Here's to the perfect evening with me, myself and i

We'll go pick out a movie and we'll all choose the same one
We'll share the same opinions after the feature's done
Then we'll discuss our future plans and we'll all just ride the fence
And we'll all agree that we're the only ones left here with any common sense
Here's to stayin' inside with me, myself and i

I get so tired of all this 'me or you or me or you'
I got better ways to spend my time with me, myself and i

So i asked myself, "what do you think?" and he said, "don't ask me"
He'll just take both sides of any point eventually
Then we'll have to sit here and try to compromise
Till we're all too god damned tired for anyone to decide
Here's to getting no where with me, myself and i

I get so tired of all this 'me or you or me or you'
I hot better ways to spend my time with me, myself and i

Hey big mama, ain't you got no soul left in those tired bones?
Hey big daddy, who you talkin' to on the bedroom telephone?
Hey little mama, i could use some help tryin' to tear off this disguise
And i ain't that hard to find with me, myself and i

Sunday morning the kids are playing in the street
Lookin' for pennies in the cracks of the concrete
And i'm looking down at them while i'm sittin' on the roof
Prayin' to a bottle of 86 proof

Well, the sun she came a-risin' so strong and proud
Took one look down upon this town and hid behind the clouds

I don't need no reasons or excuses for myself
I laugh to keep from cryin' like everybody else

I lost my job but i don't like to think about it
I get enough money to drink enough to forget about it
I ain't no beggar but they say i got the symptoms
They break a man's legs and then they blame him for limpin'

Well, the sun she came a-risin' so strong and proud
Took one look down upon this town and hid behind the clouds

I don't need no reasons or excuses for myself
I laugh to keep from cryin' just like everybody else