Break The Cycle

it's been a while
Since i could...
Hold my head up high
It's been a while
Since i first saw you
It's been a while
Since i could stand
On my own two feet again
And it's been a while
Since i could call you

And everything i can't remember
As fucked up as it all may seem
Consequences that i've rendered
Have stretched myself beyond my means

It's been a while
Since i could say
That i wasn't addicted
It's been a while
Since i could say
I loved myself as well and...
It's been a while
Since i've gone and fucked things up
Just like i always do
It's been a while
But all that shit seems to disappear when i'm with you

And everything i can't remember
As fucked up as it all may seem
Consequences that i've rendered
Gone and fucked things up again... again

Why must i feel this way?
Just make this go away
Just one more peaceful day
But then i go an fuck things up again

It's been a while
Since i could...
Look at myself straight
It's been a while
Since i said i'm sorry
It's been a while
Since i've seen the way
The candles light your face
It's been a while
But i can still
Remember just the way you taste

Everything i can't remember
As fucked up as it all may seem
To me... i know this pain
I can not blame this on my father
He did the best he could for me

It's been a while
Since i could...
Hold my head up high
It's been a while
Since i said i'm sorry

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To my mother, to my father,
It's your son or it's your daughter,
Are my screams loud enough for you to hear me?
Should I turn this up for you?

I sit locked inside my head
Remembering everything you've said
This silence gets us nowhwere!
Gets us nowhere way too fast!

The silence is what kills me
I need someone here to help me
But you don't know how to listen
And let me make my decisions

'Cause I sit here locked
inside my head remembering everything you've said
The silence gets us nowhere!
Gets us nowhere to fast!

All your insults and your curses make
me feel like I'm not a person
And I feel like I am nothing but
you made me so do something
'Cause I'm fucked up because you are
Need attention, attention you couldn't give

I sit here locked inside my head
Remembering everything you've said
This silence get us nowhere!
Gets us nowhere way to fast

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I try to breathe
Memories overtaking me
I try to face them but
The thought is too much to conceive

I only know that I can change
Everything else just stays the same
So now I step out of the darkness
that my life became 'cause

I just needed someone to talk to
You were just to busy with yourself
You were never there for me
To express how I felt
I just stuffed it down
Now I'm older and I feel like
I could let some of this anger fade
But it seems the surface I am scratching
Is the bed that I have made

So where were you?
When all this I was going through
You never took the time
To ask me just what you could do

I only know that I can change
Everything else just stays the same
So now I step out of the darkness
that my life became 'cause

I just needed someone to talk to
You were just to busy with yourself
You were never there for me
To express how I felt
I just stuffed it down
Now I'm older and I feel like
I could let some of this anger fade
But it seems the surface I am scratching
Is the bed that I have made

I never meant to fade...
Away

I NEVER MEANT TO FADE

I just needed someone to talk to
You were just to busy with yourself
You were never there for me
To express how I felt
I just stuffed it down
Now I'm older and I feel like
I could let some of this anger fade
But it seems the surface I am scratching
Is the bed that I have made

I try to breathe...

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And you
Bring me to my knees
Again
All the times
That I could beg you please
In vain
All the times
That I felt insecure
For you
But I leave
My burdens at the door

But I'm on the outside
And I'm looking in
I can see through you
See your true colors
'Cause inside your ugly
Your ugly like me
I can see through you
See to the real you

All the times
That I felt like this won't end
Was for you
And I taste
What I could never have
It's from you
All the times
That I've tried
My intentions
Full of pride
But I waste
More time than anyone

But I'm on the outside
And I'm looking in
I can see through you
See your true colors
'Cause inside your ugly
Your ugly like me
I can see through you
See to the real you

All the times
That I've cried
All this wasted
It's all inside
And I feel
All this pain
Stuffed it down
It's back again
And I lie
Here in bed
All alone
I can't mend
But I feel
Tomorrow wil be OK

But I'm on the outside
And I'm looking in
I can see through you
See your true colors
'Cause inside your ugly
Your ugly like me
I can see through you
See to the real you

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Your words to me just a whisper
Your faces so unclear
I try to pay attention
Your words just disappear

'Cause its always raining in my head
Forget all the thing's I should have said

So I speak to you in riddles because
My words get in my way. I smoke the
whole thing to my head and feel it
wash away 'cause i don't take anymore
or this, I want to come apart.
or dig myself a little hole inside
your precious heart

'Cause its always raining in my head
Forget all the things I should have said

I am nothing more than a little boy inside
That cries out for attention
though I always try to hide
'Cause I talk to you like children,
Though I don't know how I feel
But I know I'll do the right thing
If the right thing is revealed

'Cause its always raining in my head
Forget all the things I should have said

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Suffer

The more you see the more you do
The television's feeding you. With what
You want to hear, anger and fear, because you suffer

The hate you feel won't go away you're all programmed to
feel this way to live another day within a world
That loves to suffer

And then I come to find everything's O.K. seen this all
before but that was yesterday. I try to walk right
through the messes that I've made just let me enjoy
the life here that I've made

I've tried to give it all to you. Can't take anymore to do
with this. It hurts inside. I know why I hide 'cause
I suffer

I tried to keep it all inside didn't leave me too much
pride forced it all down inside forced myself to make
me suffer

And then I come to find everything's O.K. seen this all
before but that was yesterday. I try to walk right
through the messes that I've made just let me enjoy
the life here that I've made

And then I come to find

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And it's been awhile
Since I could hold my head up high
And it's been awhile
Since I first saw you
And it's been awhile
Since I could stand on my own two feet again
And it's been awhile
Since I could call you

And everything I can't remember
As fucked up as it all may seem
The consequences that I've rendered
I've stretched myself beyond my means

And it's been awhile
Since I can say that I wasn't addicted
And it's been awhile
Since I can say I love myself as well
And it's been awhile
Since I've gone and fucked things up just like I always do
And it's been awhile
But all that shit seems to disappear when I'm with you

And everything I can't remember
As fucked up as it all may seem
The consequences that I've rendered
I've gone and fucked things up again

Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away
Just one more peaceful day!

And it's been awhile
Since I could look at myself straight
And it's been awhile
Since I said I'm sorry
And it's been awhile
Since I've seen the way the candle lights your face
And it's been awhile
But I can still remember just the way you taste

And everything I can't remember
As fucked up as it all may seem to be I know it's me
I cannot blame this on my father
He did the best he could for me

And it's been awhile
Since I could hold my head up high
And it's been awhile
Since I said I'm sorry

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