Greatest Hits

(difford/tilbrook)

I bought a toothbrush, some toothpaste
A flannel for my face
Pyjamas, a hairbrush
New shoes and a case
I said to my reflection
Let's get out of this place
Past the church and the steeple
The laundry on the hill
Billboards and the buildings
Memories of it still
Keep calling and calling
But forget it all
I know i will

Tempted by the fruit of another
Tempted but the truth is discovered
What's been going on
Now that you have gone
There's no other
Tempted by the fruit of another
Tempted but the truth is discovered

I'm at the car park, the airport
The baggage carousel
The people keep on crowding
I'm wishing i was well
I said it's no occasion
It's no story i could tell

At my bedside empty pocket
A foot without a sock
Your body gets much closer
I fumble for the clock
Alarmed by the seduction
I wish that it would stop

I bought a novel, some perfume
A fortune all for you
But it's not my conscience
That hates to be untrue
I asked of my reflection
Tell me what is there to do

(difford/tilbrook)

I spent too much money, i looked far too glad
Now i have so little of what i once had
I had too many parties i had too much time
I got so lazy and fell well behind
Now the summer is over i can count the cost
Footprints on the beaches are now
Footprints in the frost
The summer is over i can count the cost
Footprints on the beaches are now footprints in the frost

We did so much damage deep in our insides
The party's over it's going home time
The cathedral is empty, no one's at home
Winter's approaching paradise postponed

Now the summer is over i can count the cost
Footprints on the beaches are now footprints in the frost,
The rain won't stop falling and the people look lost
Footprints on the beaches are now footprints in the frost.

I rang lots of numbers and walked many miles
I watched the flintstones and i turned my dial
To a brand new station where the beat comes in
Now it's all over the winter begins

The summer is over i can count the cost
Footprints on the beaches are now footprints in the frost
People with umbrellas disappear in the fog
Footprints on the beaches are now footprints in the frost

(difford/tilbrook)

They do it down on camber sands
They do it at waikiki
Lazing about the beach all day,
At night the crickets creepy
Squinting faces at the sky
A harold robbins paperback
Surfers drop their boards and dry
And everybody wants a hat
But behind the chalet
My holiday's complete
And i feel like william tell
Maid marian on her tiptoed feet
Pulling mussels from a shell

Shrinking in the sea so cold
Topless ladies look away
A he-man in a sudden shower
Shelters from the rain
You wish you had a motor boat
To pose around the harbour bar
And when the sun goes off to bed
You hook it up behind the car

Two fat ladies window shop
Something for the mantelpiece
In for bingo all the nines
A panda for sweet little niece
The coach drivers stand about
Looking at a local map
About the boy he's gone away
Down to next door's caravan

(difford/tilbrook)

You've left my ring by the soap,
Now is that love?
You cleaned me out you could say broke,
Now is that love?
The better better better it gets
The more these girls forget
That that is love.
You won't get dressed you walk about,
Now is that, is that
A teasing glance has pushed me out,
Now is that, is that
The tougher tougher tougher it gets
The more my lips frequent
Now that is love.

Beat me up with your letters, your walk out notes,
Funny how you still find me right here at home.
Legs up with a book and a drink,
Now is that love that's making you think.

You've called my bluff i'm not so hot,
Now is that love
My assets froze while yours have dropped,
Now is that, is that
It's the cupid cupid cupid disguise
That more or less survived
Now that is love.

Beat me up with your letters, your walk out notes,
Funny how you still find me right here at home.
Legs up with a book and a drink,
Now is that love that's making you think.

You've made my bed the finger points
Now is that, is that love
The more you more you more you cool down
The easier love is found
Now that is love.

it all went wrong when i grew jealous
I didn't realize my strength
Could take the life of one so precious
Together we were known as good friends

Did you ever read the words
That said love would end i read them tonight
Mistakes i can't defend
I didn't stop to think
And i upset her
I said good night tonight the last time forever
I think of her tonight
She keeps me from my sleep but what can i do
With all of these memories
I used to be so shy
And hide my temper
I've said good night tonight the last time forever

It all went wrong when i grew jealous
I didn't realize my strength
Could take the life of one so precious
Together we were known as good friends

Did you ever read the words
That say i love you i read them tonight
But what good can they do
I regret what i have done
It wasn't clever
I've said good night tonight the last time forever (x3)

(difford/tilbrook)

She was frigid like a bible
When she met her boyfriend michael
He took her in his zephyr
They sat like salt and pepper
Looking out across the city
From lover's leap is pretty
The lights they flick and flutter
He told her how he loved her
Next night he called for her
But dad protected daughter
And told him she was poorly
A lie was told there surely
So michael felt rejected
This wasn't quite expected
He drove off to his local
Where he felt anti-social

She cried all night at missing
The boy she could be kissing
While he was falling over
He drunk himself back sober
And went home in a taxi
And crashed out in the back seat
He slept just like a baby
Which he hadn't done just lately
He saw her in the morning
Out with his sister pauline
She felt all shy and soppy
He acted cool and cocky
He said tonight at charlie's
There's going to be a party
I'll meet you at half seven
She visualised the heaven

If you ever change your mind
Which you do from time to time
Never chew a pickle
With a little slap and tickle
You have to throw the stone
To get the pool to ripple

That night they danced together
It looked like love forever
He put his hand on her leg
You should have heard what she said
He tried again much later
It seemed to aggravate her
He drove home in silence
Avoiding all violence
She said let's watch the city
From lover's leap is pretty
I think i need the fresh air
She put a comb through her hair
Then while she turned to kiss him
And very nearly missed him
She put her hand on his leg
He felt her tongue in his head

If you ever change your mind
Which you do from time to time
Never chew a pickle
With a little slap and tickle
You have to throw the stone
To get the pool to ripple

(difford/tilbrook)

The case was pulled from under the bed
She made a call to a sympathetic friend
And made arrangements
The door was closed there was a note
I couldn't be bothered
Maybe i'll choke
No more engagements

With where have you been's
And faraway frowns
Trying to be good
By not being 'round
And here in the bar
The piano man's found
Another nail for my heart

That stupid old bug
That kills only love
I want to be good
Is that not enough

So play me the song
That makes it so tough
Another nail for my heart
Then play me that song
That makes it so tough
Another nail for my heart

I had excuses those little boy lies
That she computed by watching my eyes
And told me firmly

She couldn't stand it i'm bad on her heart
She dropped her makeup and i found the bar
Now it concerns me

I've had a bad time
Now love is resigned
I've been such a fool
I've loved and goodbyed

So here in the bar
The piano man's found
Another nail for my heart
And here in the bar
The piano man's found
Another nail for my heart

(difford/tilbrook)

She left in the middle of the night with the kids
Wrapped in a blanket with a packet of crisps
Heading for her mothers on another estate
The kids looked up at the light and the rain
In the middle of the night such adventures made
For two little kids staying up late
It was rainy and windy as winter was bleak
At four in the morning on king george street
She couldn't get to sleep where on earth had he gone
The door opened wide and the light went on
He was drunk as a lord with a tyre mark hat
Falling in the hall on top of the cat
Singing viva espana to a crying wife
He took a swing at the shade on the light
They were knocking on the doors dressed like refugees
In the pouring rain on king george street

She won't have that behaviour in her house any more
He's got to sober up or get kicked out of the door
Down on the corner the kids at his feet
As daddy comes home on king george street

They stood around the kettle and watched as it brewed
Sneezing into hankies hands all blue
The next evening he came around to the house
With a bunch of flowers they locked him out
He peered through the window
Mouthed words through the air
Her lips to a cup she saw him out there
The kids came running but were they happy to see
Their daddy back home on king george street

(difford/tilbrook)

Trust me to open my mouth, now everybody knows
Trust me, now i've let you down, i'm a big mouth i suppose.
This was our secret, our meetings were so discreet
I promised to keep it from the ears out on the street
This was our secret, we were having an affair
I couldn't keep it, now the secret's everywhere

One cup runneth over, loosening a jaw
Trust me to open my mouth, it's not a secret anymore
We had a secret, what a terrible thing to do
I couldn't have seen it, i was so in love so in love with you

I need a gobstopper to keep my trap shut
Got to keep my nose clean
Why's it me that gets the bad luck?

(difford/tilbrook)

She unscrews the top of a new whiskey bottle
And shuffles about in her candle lit hovel,
Like some kind of witch with blue fingers in mittens
She smells like the cat and the neighbours she sickens,
The black and white t.v. has long seen a picture
The cross on the wall is a permanent fixture,
The postman delivers the final reminders
She sells off her silver and poodles in china.
Drinks to remember, i me and myself
And winds up the clock
And knocks dust from the shelf
Home is a love that i miss very much
So the past has been bottled and labelled with love.

During the war time an american pilot
Made every air raid a time of excitement,
She moved to his prairie and married the texan
She learnt from a distance how love was a lesson,
He became drinker and she became mother
She knew that one day she'd be one or the other,
He ate himself older, drunk himself dizzy
Proud of her features, she kept herself pretty.

He like a cowboy died drunk in his slumber
Out on the porch in the middle of summer,
She crossed the ocean back home to her family
But they had retired to roads that were sandy,
She moved home alone without friends or relations
Lived in a world full of age reservation,
On moth eaten armchairs she'd say that she'd sod all
The friends who had left her to drink from the bottle.