Soul's Cor

Dedicated to patrick cosgrove 1968 - 1997

I had a dream i was in school
Reading your autograph
Pages of green in seventh grade
Now like an epitaph
Alone in your room
With an artist inside of you
You died way too soon,
But i can still feel you
Warm in a circle of friends
How have you all been
We'd never die, just go through hell
And re-group again
So button it down
So the wind won1t blow it all away
And pass it around
Like champagne on a holiday
Pass it around
There's a lot of that to go around

She grew up with
The children of the stars in the
Hollywood hills and the boulevard
Her parents threw big parties
Everyone was there
They hung out with folks like dennis
Hopper, bob seeger, sonny and cher
Now, she feels safe
In the bar on fairfax
And from the stage i can tell that
She can't let go and she can't relax
And just before
She hangs here head to cry
I sing to her a lullaby, i sing
Everything's gonna be all right
Rockabye, rockabye
She still lives with her mom
Outside the city
Down that street about a half a mile
And all her friends tell her
She's so pretty
But she'd be a whole lot prettier
If she smiled once in a while
'cause even her smile
Looks like a frown
She's seen her share of devils
In this angel town
But, everything's gonna be all right
Rockabye, rockabye
I told her i ain1t so sure
About this place
It's hard to play a gig in this town
And keep a straight face
Seems like everyone here's got a plan
It's kind of like nashville with a tan
But, everything's gonna be all right
Rockabye, rockabye
Everything's gonna be all right
Rockabye, rockabye

Like fallin rain
The days go by
Can't kill the pain
And you wonder why
Be strong
Hold on
Lottla love to go around
Stay wild
Soul child
Don't you let 'em bring you down
It's like a dream
Wake me up when it's over
Somewhere in between
Enemy and lover
Walk proud
Sing out loud
It always hurts to wonder why
One more mile
My soul child
You'll never know until you try

She cooks him ham and hotcakes
At 5:30 in the morn
She does the dishes
And irons his uniforms
And she thinks she might have loved
Him once but that was long ago
And the rain pours down
Like a holy waterfall
Over the gulf of mexico
The boardwalk's deserted
And the beach is all closed down
And the middle school punkrockers
Ride their skateboards
Through the town
And she looks back and she daydreams
About things and people she's never
Seen just to keep from being blue and
She gets home about a quarter to four
And drives her brother
To the liquor store on ocean avenue
And i'm parked on the state line on this
Cold november day and pretty soon i'll
Be a drivin fool somewhere down this
Lost highway then i hear a voice from
My soul's core sayin "freedom's just a
Metaphor, you got nowhere to go"
And the rain pours down like a
Holy waterfall over the gulf mexico

I met him on the cliffs
Of twin rocks, oregon
He was sittin on his bedroll
Lookin just like richard brautigan
I thought he was an old man,
He wasn't but 37
He said he'd been ridin trains
For 15 years
Drawin portraits
To keep his belly full of beer
And it looked to me like he'd died
And missed the plane to heaven
But he was a nice old guy
For a younger man
He had a bottle of mad dog
He held in his hand
That he waved around a lot
To make his point
And i listened as he told his tales
Of wine and women and county jails
And we finished off that bottle
And smoked a half a joint
He said "i came here to watch the sun
Disappear into the ocean
It's been years
Since i smelled this salty sea"
He turned his bottle up and down
And i saw him lost
And i saw him found
He sadi "i don't know what i've been
Lookin for, maybe me..."
Well, i told him i too had been
Travelin around
Livin out of my van from town to town
Playin for tips and whatever records
I could move
I said "i don't reckon i'll be
Makin it big,
You know it's hard to get rich
Off a tout of coffee house gigs"
And he said "yeah, but ain't it a blessin
To do what you wanna do..."
And i told him "yeah, i pulled off here
To watch the sun disappear
Into the ocean
'cause it's been years
Since i smelled this salty sea"
And he turned his bottle up and down
He saw me lost and he saw me found
And i said "i don't know what i've
Been lookin for, maybe me"
I said "it's kind of late
Better be heading down the interstate
Can i give you a lift
To san francisco bay?"
He said "nope, i think i'm just
Going to sit here and rest
And maybe wait on the
Tokyo-montana express
I might just lay here
And dream my life away
I'm going to sit right here,
I'm going to watch the sun
Disappear into the ocean
'cause it's been years, it's been years
I'm gonna turn my bottle up and down
You can see my lost
And you can see my found"
I met him on the cliffs
Of twin rocks, oregon
He was sitting on his bedroll looking
Just like richard brautigan
Just like him

My name's billy jo mckay,
I just turned 16 yesterday
I'm gonna get the nerve one day
To get outta here
My ma passed on 3 years ago, they said
It was cancer and it took her slow
And ever since then i've been
Sayin no to my daddy and my tears
Now when you come down our road
You gotta watch the bump
Right there across from
The garbage dump
You can find me out back
Jumpin on the trampoline
And in the springtime
We'll be skippin scholl
We sneak off
To the cantrell's swimming pool
Man, you can't get much cooler
Than me and my friend darlene
Now my grandaddy1s hands are worn
From 50 years of growin corn
Back behind the house where
I was born before he had to sell
And my cousin eddie,
He got shot in the walmart parkin lot
Yeah this little town's changed a lot,
He said it hurt like hell
My name's billy jo mckay,
It's a hot mississippi summer saturday
Daddy's on the front porch
With uncle dave drinkin dixie beer
16 years of being bored
My window's open, forget the door
Hope there's some gas in the
Old man's ford cause i'm outta here
I'm outta here, i'm outta here
Maybe i'll go down to biloxi
Or maybe to new orleans
Or maybe hotlanta

Well i woke up sunday morning
With no way to hold my head
That didn't hurt
And the beer i had for breakfast wasn't
Bad so i had one more for dessert
Then i fumbled through my closet
For my clothes
And found my cleanest dirty shirt
And i shaved my face
And combed my hair
And stumbled down the stairs
To meet the day
I'd smoked my brain the night before
With cigarettes and songs
That i've been pickin'
But i lit my first and watched a small kid
Cussin' at a can that he was kickin
Then i crossed the empty street and
Caught the sunday smell
Of someone fryin chicken
And it took me back to something
That i'd lost somehow
Somewhere along the way

On the sunday morning sidewalk
Wishing lord that i was stoned
Cause there's something in a sunday
That makes a body feel alone
And there's nothing short of dying
Half as lonesome as the sound
On the sleeping city sidewalk
Sunday morning coming down

In the park i saw a daddy
With a laughing little girl
He was swingin
And i stopped beside the sunday school
And listened to the song
That they were singing
Then i headed back for home
And somewhere far away
A lonely bell was ringing
And it echoed thru the canyon like
The disappearing dreams of yesterday

On the sunday morning sidewalk
Wishing lord that i was stoned
Cause therels something in a sunday
That makes a body feel alone
And there's nothing short of dying
Half as lonesome as the sound
On the sleeping city sidewalk
Sunday morning coming down