unknown

Weird goings-on at the county jail
Prisoners reading the sheriff's mail
He's strapped down to a swivel chair
Trying to swivel right out of there
Pin-striped sweet's in cell 15
Convinced his self it's all a dream
He's got a pet black tabby cat
That carries a gun and wears a stetson hat

The door flies open, in strides geek
Looking like the front page of newsweek
He says to lou in a voice of glee,
'what's the matter, ain't you glad to see me?'
Lou's on the floor 'cause he can't stand up
As green as a leaf in a tea-cup
When on to geek's back jumps a stetson-hatted cat
Which breaks geek's neck like he was a rat

Long gone geek!

(brooker / reid)*

Your multilingual business friend
Has packed her bags and fled
Leaving only ash-filled ashtrays
And the lipsticked unmade bed
The mirror on reflection
Has climbed back upon the wall
For the floor she found descended
And the ceiling was too tall

Your trouser cuffs are dirty
And your shoes are laced up wrong
You'd better take off your homburg
'cos your overcoat is too long
The town clock in the market square
Stands waiting for the hour
When its hands they both turn backwards
And on meeting will devour
Both themselves and also any fool
Who dares to tell the time
And the sun and moon will shatter
And the signposts cease to sign

She's got friends in high places, her picture's in vogue
She's seen at the races and walking the dog
She swallows the camera, she follows the press
She covers the angles, she's dressed for success

She don't bring me water
She don't give me food
All that she got is a real attitude

Her mood swings are violent, it can't be denied
She kisses the bridegroom and disses the bride
Godfather's baby who gets every wish
She drinks with the family, she's taking the fifth

She don't bring me water
She don't give me food
All that she got is a real attitude

Your convent-cloistered, cluttered mind
[calls] out for me but i'm behind
You cannot see into your room
Whose perfumed depths sing songs of doom

But i am cold and cannot see
A way out of this mystery

Wild horses couldn't change your mind
Or help you up and let you find
That i am here cold or blind
That i have something left to find

But i am cold and cannot see
A way out of your mystery

An ali baba you would be
In search of treasure endlessly
And like some jewel you'ld comfort me
And in your showcase i would be

But i am cold and cannot see
A way out of your mystery

(brooker / reid)*

We skipped the light fandango
Turned cartwheels 'cross the floor
I was feeling kinda seasick
But the crowd called out for more
The room was humming harder
As the ceiling flew away
When we called out for another drink
The waiter brought a tray

And so it was that later
As the miller told his tale
That her face, at first just ghostly,
Turned a whiter shade of pale
She said, 'there is no reason
And the truth is plain to see.'
But i wandered through my playing cards
And would not let her be
One of sixteen vestal virgins
Who were leaving for the coast
And although my eyes were open
They might have just as well've been closed
She said, 'i'm home on shore leave,'
Though in truth we were at sea
So i took her by the looking glass
And forced her to agree
Saying, 'you must be the mermaid
Who took neptune for a ride.'
But she smiled at me so sadly
That my anger straightway died

If music be the food of love
Then laughter is its queen
And likewise if behind is in front
Then dirt in truth is clean
My mouth by then like cardboard
Seemed to slip straight through my head
So we crash-dived straightway quickly
And attacked the ocean bed

I've been out of weeks for ages
I've been on and off the train.
I've been losing sheep
And counting sleep
And i've drunk too much again
But i'll take another cup
Even though it dry me up
Ooh, though i know that i should pass
I will take another glass

The cellar is empty, the cupboard is bare,
I'm joining the church and taking to prayer
The landlord's complaining
'cos the rent is outstanding
And old mother hubbard's ran off with the chair
Though i know it's time to stop
I will take another drop
Though i know i'm very sick
I will take just one more sip

Come on captain, punch my ticket
Call my mother's name
I once heard
That a fly can't bird
But i drunk too much again
Though i've really drunk a lot
I will take another shot
Though i know it's a time to pass
I will take just one more glass

(brooker / reid) *

In the wee small hours of sixpence
And the lighted chandelier
Stands a rusty old retainer
Whose old eyes are filled with tears
For his master, good sir galant,
Who is now off to the wars
And although his eyes are crying
We know grief is not the cause
And if grief is not the reason
He must be of sterner stuff
And his sword though old and rusty
Must be blunt as sharp enough

In the wee small hours of sixpence
And the broken window pane
Stand the remnants of the evening
Who are waiting all in vain
For the crowing of the cockerel
Showing morning is not night
But the air is filled with silence
And the daylight is not bright
But still darkness is no reason
We are men of sterner stuff
And our swords though old and rusty
Still are blunt as sharp enough.

In the wee small hours of sixpence
And the hat-stand in the hall
Waiting only for the morning
Shadows flitting 'cross the wall
And perhaps that old retainer
Whom now giving of his all
May have once been just as we are
And now has no face at all.
But still grief was not the reason
He was made of sterner stuff
And his sword though old and rusty
Still was blunt as sharp enough.

Spoken: a man gets on a train and starts having thoughts about his past, and a lot of references to old procol harum songs go through his head.)

'i'd been wandering around manhattan for a couple of days, kinda lost; suddenly i found myself in grand central station. i looked up at the board: there it was -- 'last train to niagara 1:15': i just had to get on it. i had to get up there and find the answers ...'

(salty dog train noise / stomping waltz-time riff from in held)

On the last train to niagara, on the fast train to the falls
I was heading into danger, i was climbing up the walls
I was feeling kind of empty, feeling kind of bleak
I was twice removed from yesterday, but halfway through next week

Well i tuned into the radio and flipped across the dial
I was searching for the missing chord, i'd missed it for awhile
Then they played a song from long ago, a picture through the glass
The story of a spanish brave whose light was fading fast

(conquistador intro, post-edmonton)

The tracks were humming harder now, the room began to sway
The music turned much louder now, as the ceiling flew away (+awsop, + asd)
A crowd of drunken sailor boys came in upon the sea
The captain wanted action fast, the crowd was getting mean

(climbing scale from whaling stories)

Then i smoked another cigarette, and fixed another drink
When you're out there in deep water, you just can't afford to sink
I was halfway through the looking glass, halfway up to mars
It was getting close to morning time, somewhere 'neath the stars

(excerpts from strangers in space, the worm and the tree, and the climbing theme from rambling on)

Just then a passing mermaid came and took me by the hand
She gently soothed my fevered brow and led me back to land
When i heard the sound of laughter, woke up upon my knees
I was heading to that preacher man, to give me my reprieve

(fragment of the devil came from kansas)

Well the preacher-man said, he said 'son, you won't find favour on the dark side of the street
Better straighten up your overcoat, and get back on your feet
No use looking to the future, if you keep on coming back,
And you know you're going nowhere, if your shoes don't fit your hat.'

(excerpt from homburg)

On the last train to niagara, on the fast train to the falls
I was heading into danger, climbing up the walls
I was feeling kind of empty, i was feeling kind of bleak
I was twice removed from yesterday, but halfway through next week.

On the last train to niagara, on the fast train to the falls
The last train to niagara, the fast train to the falls
Last train to niagara, fast train to the falls